As Much As Things Change
by Lolly4Holly
Summary: Sequel to 'As you Were'. Maybe things would have been easier if Nick had never come back. Can things seriously get any crazier than they already have? Nick/Greg Slash. Mpreg
1. Prologue

**As Much As Things Change**

**Author:**Lolly4Holly

**Pairings:**Nick/Greg - Mpreg

**Summary:** Maybe things would have been easier if Nick had never come back. Can things seriously get any crazier than they already have?

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**Prologue**

Cautiously lying back on the cold metal table, the nervous patient adjusted the itchy hospital gown he was dressed in, realising that exposing himself was the least of his problems as the device started to move him backwards into the machine. He closed his eyes before he was underneath it, thinking of anything but being stuck in a small space. But at that precise moment, it was the only thing he could think about. It got worse as the noise started up, stopping any happy thoughts from entering his panicked mind. He tried to stay as still as possible, but he could already feeling the familiar tremors of nervous shakes rushing through his arms.

"Okay, all done, Mr Stokes. You can go ahead and get dressed now." The technician smiled at him from behind her glass booth.

Pushing himself to a sitting position, Nick rubbed the blinding light from his eyes, before he made his way towards the doorway. He hated waiting a whole two weeks for the results from these scans, but that was the way that his doctor planned it. He'd have to wait in suspense for a whole two weeks, just waiting around, hoping that the news was good news.

He quickly got himself dressed, deciding to get on with the rest of his day. He didn't have time to dwell on whether his results would be good news or bad news, he had a soccer game to attend at his son's school.

Driving straight over to his son's school, Nick hurried towards the main building, giving the receptionist a smile as she handed him the sign in sheet. "They haven't started yet. You're just on time." She assured him.

"Thanks." Giving her a wave, Nick hurried through the familiar corridors towards the open door that lead to the school field. He shielded his eyes from the sun, searching the crowd of children in blue t-shirts, until he spotted his son. He gave him a wave as he looked his way, wishing he could see that bright smile on his son's face all the time. "Hi, Poppy." He caught up to the kids babysitter.

"Hi, Mr Stokes." She handed him the diaper bag from her shoulder. "Greg said you'd be here to take them back to the house. I changed him after I picked him up from day care. He's been sleeping since."

"Thank you." Crouching down in front of the stroller, Nick checked on his sleeping baby boy, finally feeling the tension of the day beginning to drain away. He gently brushed his hand across the top of the toddler's head, admiring the sleeping beauty as he softly snoozed in the comfort of his stroller.

"Daddy!" His eldest jumped onto his back, throwing his little arms around his shoulders.

"Hey, darlin'." Loosening his son's grip from around his shoulders, Nick pulled him to his side, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "What'd you do in school today?"

"I did a drawing of Jack from Jack and the beanstalk. Mrs Townsley said mine was the best one. And I coloured in all the lines." Colt proudly stated, touching his fingertips to the patient wristband around his father's wrist. "What's that for? Did you go to the doctors? Are you sick?"

"No, I'm not sick." Nick still hadn't figured out a way to tell his son that he was in remission from cancer. The seven year old didn't even know what cancer was and he was too afraid to explain it to him, in case his son started to fear that he was going to lose him because of it. "I was just havin' some blood tests and things done. Shouldn't you be gettin' ready for your game?"

"I need you to tie my shoes, Daddy." He waved his sneaker around, with the laces dangling either side of it. "I can't do it."

"Seven years old and you still can't tie your own shoelaces. Hold still then." Kneeling down in front of his son, Nick untangled the mud soaked laces, tying them into a neat knot for him. "Papa tell you he's pullin' a double shift today?" He received a nod from his nervous child. "Hey, don't look so worried. Look, your friend, Max isn't worried."

"I'm not very good." Colt anxiously bit his lower lip, noticing that the other team were a lot taller than his own team. "I wonna go home."

"No you don't. Just pretend you're playin' in the backyard with your friends. It doesn't matter if you win or lose. It's just a game. C'mon, you better get over there." He tucked his son's blue team jersey into his shorts for him, before he finally let him go to join the rest of his team. He grabbed the stroller from beside him, wheeling it across the bumpy field, towards the stands where the parents were sat. "Hi, Evelyn." He noticed his neighbour right away. "I didn't know the twins were on the on the team."

"Hi, Brooklyn is. Brittany isn't into sports though." Evelyn moved her bag from beside her, giving him some room to sit down. She smiled as she looked at the stroller beside him, seeing his baby boy, Jackson fast asleep after a long day at day care. "I suppose he'll be starting Pre-K soon, won't he?"

"Yeah, won't be long." Nick looked at his toddler, remembering the day they brought him home from the hospital like it was yesterday.

"No Greg, today? I haven't seen him in a while."

"He's busy workin'. He applied for the assistant supervisor position at the lab. Since the actual supervisor is away on vacation, he's pickin' up all the slack of the shift. He's been pullin' doubles ever since." Nick adjusted a little baseball cap on his son's head, keeping the sun off him while he slept. He was tempted to remove the pacifier from his mouth, so the toddler could finally start to let go of it, but he feared that he might wake him if he even attempted to remove it.

He glanced up to watch his son as the game started, giving him a smile as he nervously looked in his direction for some support. Colt had already quit the little league baseball team and swim club, deciding to join the soccer team that his best friend, Max was on instead. He hadn't been on the team for very long, but he already wanted to give that up too.

Colt lethargically followed his team from one end of the field to the other, getting the ball passed to him once when he was near the goal. He swung his foot to kick it towards the goal, getting struck in the leg by a kid almost twice his size.

The seven year old toppled backwards onto the dirty grass, holding his knee as he watched the other team taking the ball up the other end to score another goal. He climbed to his feet as the whistle blew, wishing that it was the end of the match already, so he could go home.

"You did really good. You passed it to Max clear across the field." Nick complimented him, walking him to his truck in the parking lot, once it was all over. "I couldn't even do that. I was never very good at soccer. Or football. That's why I took up baseball."

"I don't want to do it anymore." Colt dragged his bag across the concrete behind him, scuffing his sneakers all the way to his father's truck. He waited beside it as the man lifted his baby brother from his stroller, buckling the sleeping toddler into his seat in the back.

"Don't kick the ground. We just bought those sneakers."

Colt gave up with a sigh, brushing his fingers through the dirt on the back of his father's truck instead. "Daddy, if I don't do soccer anymore, what can I do instead?"

"I don't know." Nick gave him a shrug, opening up the boot to his truck. "Depends what you wonna do." He lifted Colt onto the back, removing his muddy sneakers for him. "You used to enjoy swimmin' when you were a little older than Jacks is now. Your Papa and I used to take you all the time."

Colt shook his head from side to side, pulling off his muddy socks, while his father got his clean sneakers from the front of the car. "I don't want to do anything after school anymore. Do I have to? It's so boring."

"No." His father handed him his clean socks, resting his hands either side of his son's legs. "You better talk to your Papa about it first though. He might not be able to find you a sitter for after school." He pointed out to him, noticing the graze on his son's knee. "That kid kicked you pretty hard, didn't he?"

"It doesn't hurt." Colt slid further back into the car, watching his father grabbing his first aid kit to clean the graze for him. "Did you know your heart beats around a hundred thousand times a day?"

"That's pretty amazin' isn't it?" Nick gave him a wide smile, gently sticking a plaster on his knee. He loved the expression on his son's face when he found out something new. It reminded him of how Greg used to get when he discovered something at the lab.

"It beats even faster if you do sports or anything that gets you out of breath."

"Yeah? How fast is yours goin' right now?" His father slid a clean pair of socks and sneakers onto his feet, watching as his son placed his palm over his little wrist, feeling his heart beating through it.

"Like this... bom, bom, bom, bom, bom..."

"That's pretty fast."

"It would have been faster when I was running." Colt reached for his father's wrist, so he could feel his heart beating beneath his skin. "Mrs Townsley says that police men can use heart beats as a lie detector. Do you, Daddy?"

"I'm not a policeman. I work in a science lab."

"Papa works in the lab too."

"That's right. C'mon then, I gotta get you back home."

Sliding off the back of his father's truck, Colt made his way round the other side of the car, pulling open the side door, so he could climb in. He buckled himself in, waving to his friend, Max out the window as his friend made his way over to his Mom's car.

Max was an only child, but both his mother and father attended all of his games and drove him home in the same car. He was always complaining that he didn't have a brother or a sister to play with, but he didn't know how lucky he was to have what he did.

"Here you go." His father handed him a juice box through the seats. "Don't get any on my seats. We'll be home soon." He gave him a smile, buckling himself in, before he took off.

He was glad that his neighbour hadn't noticed anything else going on at their house. He couldn't even explain the awkwardness of their situation to himself, let alone his children.

Pulling up outside the house, Nick searched through the glove compartment for his keys, finding them tucked under his flashlight. "You alright to get out by yourself?" He glanced over his shoulder, hearing his door clicking shut, as his son had already climbed out. He gave out a sigh, climbing out the car himself to get his baby boy out of the car. "Here's the keys." He handed them to Colt.

"Papa's home." Colt hurried up the driveway, running around his father's car, towards the front door. He banged his fist against the door, jumping into his father's arms as soon as he opened the door. "Papa."

"Hey Buckaroo," Greg playfully ruffled his hand through his son's hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head as he leant down to his level. "How was your soccer game? I would have come to watch you, but I just got back from the lab just now."

"I lost." Colt told him the truth, stepping around him into the house. "I'm hungry."

"You know where the kitchen is. Hey, don't pig out. Dinners soon." He warned him, pulling his sneakers on, so he could fetch his youngest from outside. "I'm back on days after the weekend. You okay to take the boys?"

"Yeah, sure." Nick pressed a kiss to Jacks little cheek, before he handed him over to Greg. "Colt wants to quit the soccer team now. He didn't have such a good game." He fetched the boys bags from the back of his truck, taking them to the doorway. "Am I havin' them this weekend?"

"Nope, my folks are coming down from Cali. You can come over..."

"So we can pretend to play happy families again?" Nick interrupted him, taking a step out of the door. "Because that worked out so well last time." He reminded him of their little Christmas charade. "No Greg, I think it's about time that you told your folks the truth. We can't keep lyin' to them like this. I gotta go."

Greg clutched his baby boy tightly against his chest, watching Nick walking down the driveway. He never meant for things to turn out like this, but it was too late now, the damage was already done. It had been seven months since he moved out and away from them, but it wasn't getting any easier.

Without looking back, Nick returned home to his apartment building, still feeling as though he was out of place here. He grabbed his mail from his assigned box, before he hurried up the three flights of stairs, towards his apartment. It wasn't overly big, but it was just him now.

He ditched his keys on the side, collapsing onto the sofa, where he could look out the window. He had thought about leaving again, finding a new city where he could just try and forget it all, but he couldn't leave his boys behind this time. He didn't even want to leave them this time, Greg saw to that after it became too unbearable to face each other every morning.

Nick thought that they could face anything together, but he never thought that they would have to go through the process of losing two baby's.

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**Thanks for reading, please review.**

**~ Holly**


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter One:**

"Remember when you used to say, you think you've got problems, wait until you become a parent? Well, you should have seriously explained in detail how much of problem it was." Greg scolded his mother, ditching the overflowing laundry hamper by the washing machine. "Even when they're not here, I'm still picking up toys, cleaning their clothes, making sure there's enough food in the fridge for when they get back. Making beds, digging blocks of Lego out from between the sofa cushions and the vacuum cleaner..."

"You don't need to tell me. I'm still going through it all." His mother finished buttering the slices of bread, before she made her way over to the fridge for the ham slices and salad. "Instead of little Lego blocks and weird little science experiments that you used to keep though, I'm picking up dolls shoes, hair bands and clips, along with dirty socks from your brother. You wouldn't believe how many I've found under his bed."

"Oh, I think I would. I found some of Jacks' little booties under my bed the other day. They haven't fit him since he was about two months old."

"Aww, I hope you kept them. You never know when you might need them again." Jean gave him a smile, placing some things onto the counter. "When's Nicky getting back from work then? You said he'd be late..."

"He's..." Greg leant back against the washing machine, rolling his eyes as he looked up at the ceiling. "He hasn't lived here in seven months, Mom." He blurted it out. "I kicked him out."

"What?" She grappled hold of the mayonnaise jar she was holding, before she dropped it to the floor from the shock. "Why? Why didn't I know? When were you going to tell me?"

"I'm telling you now." He pointed out to her, kneeling down to pick up the clothes he had dropped. "I didn't want to tell you, because it really wasn't any of your business and I didn't want to hear the 'I told you so' speech from you after it all crumbled away... again."

Jean knelt down beside him, handing him the last few little socks and jeans. "Seven months is a long time, you should have called me. I wouldn't have given you any speech." She assured him, before she remembered something, "Hold on, seven months? Christmas was three months ago. We had you all over then. You stayed in the same room."

Greg shook his head. "Nick slept in Colt's room. The boys were in with me. I asked him to come with us... so you wouldn't know anything was wrong." Giving out a heavy sigh, he climbed to his feet, dumping the boys clothes into the machine. "I kicked him out, then I forced him to come with me and put on an act for you guys. That argument you saw us have in the garden, that wasn't nothing. He wanted it all back. Me, the boys, this house... but I didn't think I could trust him anymore."

"What did he do?" She leant against the machine beside him. "Sweetheart, you shouldn't have to go through something like this alone. What happened between you two, everything was going..."

"So great? Yeah, that's when you know that you're in trouble." He smirked, grabbing the washing powder from the shelf above him. "Everything was going so great before Colt was born. I didn't see any warning signs before he just up and disappeared on me. I thought he was dead. I would have given anything to have to him back. Now I'm kicking him out. And it wasn't just one thing either. It was more like one thing after another. And that one thing blew up into all of these problems..."

"What one thing?" Getting her son to face her, Jean demanded to know what was going on, "Sweetheart, what happened? You two have always been so strong, what could possibly tear you apart?"

"Me." He looked down at his hands. "I did. I broke us. And I'm such an idiot for doing it, because he won't even look at me now."

"How?" She putting her hands on her hips as she tried to understand what he was trying to say. "What did you do that broke the bond that the two of you had?"

Inhaling a deep breath, Greg looked into his mother's eyes, whispering, "I lost our baby's."

His mother stared at him a moment, before she reached out for his hands. "Stop doing that a moment." Stopping Greg from using the laundry as a distraction again, she looked into his eyes, asking, "How did you lose your baby's? If you lost a baby, it's never down to you. When was this?" She blamed herself for not noticing anything different between the two of them, but she still had to get to the bottom of this. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"The whole reason I kicked Nick out was because he didn't want to talk about it." Greg giggled softly, sliding down the wall behind him. "Instead of talking to me or acknowledging the fact that something happened, he shut me out, put on this fake happiness and it drove me crazy. I wanted him to share what he was feeling with me, but he just bottles everything. I kicked him out and I've wanted him back ever since, but I'm afraid to let him in again."

Even though she knew it wouldn't help, Greg's mother decided to give him the usual speech that everyone gave her. "Everybody deals with grief in a different way."

"We would have four kids by now."

"When?" She spoke softly, gently brushing a tear from her son's cheek. "How long ago...?"

Sniffling softly, Greg answered, "First one was shortly before Jacks' second birthday. That's why we cancelled his party last minute. He didn't really have a cold." He wiped his eyes, tilting his head back against the wall behind him. "I was fourteen weeks along. I was gonna tell you at his party. We had already heard the heartbeat and got pictures. I was in the shower when I lost it. It looked like a real baby... barely bigger than my hand."

"Oh, sweetheart," Sitting herself beside him, Jean put her arm around his shoulders, hugging him tightly against her side. "You should have told me, honey. Not that I'm... you just shouldn't have had to go through that alone."

Greg pulled his knees close to his chest, explaining, "Second one... I didn't even know I was pregnant. We were away on our vacation in Hawaii, when you had the boys. The doctor at the hospital there guessed I was around ten weeks."

"You were in a hospital?"

"Yeah, I fainted head first into some sort of lobster buffet. I was bleeding and anaemic, so I was in hospital the last three days of our holiday. They thought I had a concussion too, but I just didn't want to talk to anybody. Nick left me there. He took me to the hospital then ditched me, leaving me to deal with it all... again."

"Greg." Although his mother was a little annoyed that he would keep something like this from her, all she felt was her own guilt for not being there for him.

"Afterwards, Nick barely even spoke to me. All I thought about was how I felt and what I had lost. And how I let him down. I never even thought about what he might be feeling . . . and look what I've done to Colt and Jackson now." Greg pointed out to her, running his fingers through his hair. "I've completely screwed up their lives. Including any chance of giving Nick any kind of happiness in what time he has left with us. He had a follow up appointment at the hospital last week. I wanted to ask him how it went, but he can't even look me in the eye anymore. He walked away before I could really talk to him. It used to be me that was hostile towards him, but it's the other way round now. He hates me. I know he does."

"If we're talking about the same man, I believe he loves you more than anything. Something like that doesn't disappear in the space of seven months." She playfully ruffled her hand through his hair, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. "I saw the two of you three months ago. I saw how he looked at you. Believe me, love like that doesn't go away."

"Mom-my!" A voice called through the house.

"Just a minute." Jean gave her son another quick hug, before she climbed to her feet. "C'mon sweetheart," She helped him up, gently brushing away the tears from his cheeks. "I wish that there was a quick fix button for you, but this isn't something that's going to go away so easily. Believe me, I know. I still live with the guilt of the baby's that I lost. But believe me when I say that it does get easier, the more you talk about it. Shutting yourself off never helps. Nick probably feels just as bad as you do. If not worse because you kicked him out for it."

"Yeah, where were you with that advice earlier?" He smiled at her, giving his eyes a quick wipe as he heard footsteps in the kitchen. He got back to loading the washing machine with their clothes, while his mother tended to the hungry children in the kitchen.

"Hey, hands off the food. It's not ready yet."

Greg switched the machine on, inhaling a deep breath, before he stepped out into the kitchen. "Hey there, Munchkin." Lifting his toddler from the floor, Greg pressed a kiss to his little forehead, hugging him tightly against his chest. "Did you have fun at the park with Granddad?" He playful pulled the pacifier from his mouth, wanting to hear his adorable little voice. "Did you go on the swings?"

Jackson reached his little fingers out for his pacifier in his father's hand, giggling softly as Greg tickled his tummy.

"What about the slide? Did you have a go on the slide?" He took his baby boy through to the front room, sitting down with him on the sofa, so he could remove his little jacket for him. "Did you have fun?"

"Yes." He spoke softly, reaching his curious little fingers out for the ring on his father's finger.

"I pushed him on the swings." Colt climbed onto the sofa beside him, putting his cowboy hat on his father's head. "Granddad got me these." He held up one of the chewy gob-stoppers from the packet in his hands. He popped one into his father's mouth, giggling as the man pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Don't eat too many, they'll rot your teeth." He warned him, sucking the strawberry flavoured sweet in his mouth. "Mmm, they're pretty good. Gimme another one." He smiled at him, getting another giggle out of his son.

"Granddad let us have some Sprite too."

"Oh, did he now." Greg unzipped Colt's jacket, giving him a hand to get his arms out of the sleeves. "You definitely have to brush your teeth then. Granddad knows you're not meant to have fizzy drinks."

"Granddad said you drank fizzy drinks all the time." His son caught him out, receiving a playful jab to his side. "Granddad said that family's are always supposed to forgive each other for everything too. No matter what happened." His seven year old started up the usual argument. "Why can't Daddy come home? Can you just forgive him for what he did? This is his home, Papa. He should still live here with us. We live here, so why can't he?"

Greg rested his head back against the cushions behind him, looking between his boys. He wouldn't have had either one of them without, Nick. He wouldn't even have the life he had now without, Nick. But he didn't know if Nick would even take him back now.

He hadn't been able to look him in the eye for months now.

"It's... complicated, Buckaroo. I know you hate it when I say that, but grown up relationships are complicated, because we're so damn complicated. Being a kid is easy. I'm serious, you don't know how easy you have it." He took the cowboy hat off his head, placing it back on Colt's head in front of him. "Being a kid is the easiest job you will ever have."

"I still want Daddy to come home." Colt spoke softly, resting his legs across his father's lap. "I miss not having Daddy here."

"We'll work it out, you don't need to worry about anything. You're a kid, worrying is for adults. All you need to know is that Daddy loves you both more than anything in the world. That doesn't change because he's not here." Greg assured him. "Daddy will always be there for you when you want him."

"I know." Colt popped another sweet into his mouth, handing another one to his father. "Can Jacks have one?"

"No, he might choke. He can have one of those soft jelly ones though." He motioned towards the packet he had seen in his son's coat pocket. His son reached for the sweet packet, handing it to his father. "Mmm, these are nice ones. Daddy doesn't like sweets. He never let me have any. Your Nana never let me have any either."

"Granddad always lets us have sweets."

"Granddad's cool like that." Greg lifted his toddler against his chest, pressing a kiss to his delicate little cheek. "You look like you need your nap time a little early, little man."

"Nana said we're making brownies this afternoon. Can we take some over to Daddy?"

"Yeah, you could do." Greg gave him a nod, letting Jackson down as he started to struggle in his arms. "You better make lots then. You know how big Daddy's appetite is." He handed the toddler another soft jelly sweet, watching him carefully inspecting it, before he sucked it into his mouth. "Last one," He turned to Colt, taking the packet off him as soon as he stuck another sweet into his mouth. "I think Nana was making lunch, so don't get too many toys out."

"Can you get the Lego box?" Colt sprang to his feet, running over to the toy shelves against the wall. He ditched his cowboy hat and the toy pistol from his belt, so he could sit down with his toys. His father slowly followed close behind, reaching for the blue toy bin on the top shelf that was full of all of his son's Lego. "Over here." He hurried over to one of the soft bean bag chairs, instructing his father to place it on the floor beside him.

"Anything else, your highness?" Greg playfully ruffled his hand through his son's hair. "I'll be in the kitchen with Nana. Keep an eye on your brother around the Lego." He warned him, making his way through to the kitchen to see if his mother needed help.

His sisters Aza and Zane were stood around the island counter, helping their mother to make the rest of the sandwiches. Aza filled the sandwich with lettuce and tomatoes, handing it to her sister beside her. Zane plated them, slicing them in half with the knife in her hands, before she set it in the middle of the island with the others.

"Greg, look." Aza pulled up the sleeve to her pink sweatshirt, showing him her grazed elbow. "I only fell over once at my first ice skating lesson. There's a girl in my class the same age as me and she can do an axel. It's a really awesome spinny jump from one foot to the other in the air."

"That's cool. Mom never let me ice skate." He glared in the woman's direction, giving his sisters a hand with the sandwiches.

"You weren't the best at balancing on your feet, let alone on ice skates." His mother defended herself, washing her hands as soon as she was done. "Aza, go and find your father and brother, please. It's ready."

"Mom won't let me get my ear pieced again." Fourteen year old, Zane sympathised with her brother. "I just want a little stud here." She held the top of her ear to show him. "But she won't let me. It's not like I'm asking to get my tongue pierced or my belly button pierced. I just want a little stud in my ear."

"I already let you get them both pierced the once. You don't need holes in your body to express yourself. Just like I used to tell your brother when he came home with different coloured hair all the time, find another way to express yourself." Their mother argued, ushering them out of the way, so she could pour out some juice for them. "I was just as hard on Greg when he wanted a tattoo of some dragon or something on his back."

"An eagle." Greg corrected her. "And how do you know I didn't get one?" He playfully stuck his tongue out at her, before he returned to the front room. He lifted his toddler out of his toys, taking his boys through to the kitchen for their lunch.

He was glad that no one asked where Nick was, but it was a little heart breaking at the same time. He didn't want to imagine his life without Nick again, but he was already getting a glimpse of what it would be like without him around and he only had himself to blame.

* * *

"Daddy lives here? It's really big. It's taller than the sky." Holding the box of freshly baked brownies, Colt looked up at the tall apartment building in front of them, while his father got his younger brother out of the car behind him. "Is this near where we used to live, Papa?"

"When you were a baby? No." Greg set Jackson in the stroller, buckling him in, before he locked up the car. "We lived on the other side of town, closer to the lab where I work." He ushered his son towards the front door, spotting the buzzer beside the name 'Stokes'. It made him feel as though he didn't even belong to him anymore. He was complete separate being from the life that they had created.

"Yeah?"

"Hey, it's us." He had already called ahead to check he was in and up for visitors first, so he knew that Nick would be around.

"C'mon up, doors open." Nick buzzed them in.

"Grab the door, Colt." Greg instructed him, wheeling the stroller backwards through the open doorway. "Daddy's building is a lot nicer than the one we used to stay in." He immediately noticed how clean it was inside. There wasn't paint peeling on the walls, the elevator didn't have an out of order sign on it and the floors looked as though they had actually been washed quite regularly. They were spotless and shiny. "Lift." He pointed his son over to it.

"Does it work?" Colt gave his father a smile, pushing the button, before he stepped inside. "Which floor is it, Papa? There's so many numbers."

"That's a very good question. Do you think it's the presidential suite?" Greg wheeled the stroller into the elevator, biting his lower lip as he looked at the numbers. His husband had been staying with his sister in town for the past few months. He had only just moved into this apartment building now, so he hadn't actually stopped by to visit him yet. "I... don't know. Push some buttons, see where we end up." He joked, pulling out his phone to find the address that Nick had texted to him. "Eh... three."

"This one?" Colt stretched his hand up across the panel, pushing in the number three. "Can we stay with Daddy tonight? I don't need pyjamas to sleep."

"I don't think he has any beds for you two. And Daddy's got work later, so you'll be on your own. Maybe we can arrange it a different time."

Colt pouted his lip out at him, giving him an annoyed look. "But Papa..."

"Don't start, Colt." As the doors opened to the third floor, Greg ushered his son out, while he struggled with the stroller across the coarse carpet. The lobby was a nice squeaky clean floor, but the hallways leading to the different apartments were lined with some sort of industrial carpet in a horrible dark orange colour. "That's the one." He pointed towards the apartment with the open door.

"Daddy?" Colt pushed the door open a little wider, smiling as he caught sight of his father stood in his kitchen. "Daddy!" He ran towards him, throwing his arms around his waist.

"Hey, buddy." Sliding his hands beneath his child's arms, Nick lifted him onto his hip, pressing a kiss to his son's forehead. "Mmm, what are these? They smell good." He took the box off his hands, seeing gooey chocolate brownies inside.

"We made them for you. Jacks didn't though. He was sleeping the whole time. Papa thinks he's growing, because he never stops sleeping."

"Thank you. We'll have some of those later." He set the box on the side, lowering his son to the floor, so he had his hands free to lift his baby boy from the stroller. He pressed multiple kisses to Jackson's soft little cheek, not even taking any notice of Greg stood in the doorway. "Ooh, sleepy little boy." Nick smiled as his toddler widely yawned against his shoulder. "Have you had a busy day?"

"We went to the park with Granddad." Colt announced, touring his father's apartment for the first time. He ran his curious fingertips across the marble counters in the kitchen, before he hurried over to the sofa that was only a couple of feet from the fridge. "Your house is really small, Daddy." He noticed a double bed beyond the television set, wondering why his father would choose to live in this tiny apartment over their spacious home.

"They haven't eaten yet." Greg unloaded the diaper bag from the back of the stroller. "My Mom's gonna make us dinner, so don't give them too many. I packed some extra diapers and things. Call me when you want me to pick them up."

Nick responded with a slight nod, turning his back to Greg as he carried his baby boy further into the apartment.

"Okay, I'll see you later." Greg pushed the stroller all the way into the apartment, giving Colt a wave, before he stepped outside. It felt weird leaving his children behind, but he was going to have to get used to it if this was going to be their lives from now on.

He wanted to ask him how everything was, and if he was doing okay, but it was as though they were complete strangers to each other now. He hated these awkward and uncomfortable feelings around his own husband. He hated it more than he could stand. The feelings made his stomach feel as though it was in knots, bringing tears to his eyes as he took the elevator down alone.

* * *

**Thank you for your reviews, sorry about the big surprise. I was going to start this story a little differently, but I wanted a more dramatic beginning. Thanks for reading, let me know what you think. More on the way soon.**

**~ Holly**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

"Seriously, you have a boyfriend? You're way too young to even think about boys." Instead of dwelling on the fact that his husband couldn't even look at him anymore, let alone talk to him when they were in the same room, Greg decided to hang out with his two younger sisters, Aza and Zane, with a movie and popcorn in his front room. "What do you need a boyfriend for at your age? Boys are too high maintenance, especially at your age."

"I'm fourteen." Zane pointed out to her brother, grabbing another handful of popcorn from the bowl on his lap. "You're so old, Greg."

"Am not." He jabbed her in the side. "I'm only... twenty eight years older than you."

His sister immediately giggled, rolling her eyes at him. "So, when did you have your first boyfriend then, old man?"

"Official? Not until I was in college." He admitted to her, combing Aza's hair behind her ear as she readjusted herself against his opposite shoulder. "Nearly in my twenties. I was a late bloomer because I had Mom hovering around me until I finally left for college. You're fourteen though. You shouldn't be worrying about boys yet. You should still be into Barbie dolls and things. Boys are complicated. Men are even more complicated. You should enjoy your freedom, while you still can."

"I like Barbie dolls." Aza lifted her head, getting a smile from her siblings. "I just got a Little Mermaid one."

"Did you?" Greg gave her a smile, asking, "Does she have the tail and that little lobster thing?"

"She has a dress shaped as a tail. And I got a cuddly Sebastian toy."

"Which ones Sebastian again?" He looked at her confused.

"The fish." Zane threw a piece of popcorn in the air, catching it in her mouth. She gave her brother a cheeky smile, grabbing another quick handful. "When did you ever watch the Little mermaid anyway? You don't even have an excuse, you have two boys."

"Late night television." He shrugged.

"Hello." Their mother poked her head into the front room, giving the three of them a smile. "Honey, Nick just left a message on your machine. Sounds like the boys are getting hungry. They're ready to come home. Would you like me to go and pick them up?"

Looking at his sisters either side of him, Greg gave his mother a nod, preferring the company of them to his husband. "If you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind." She stopped him there, hoping he was going to say yes, as she really wanted a word with Nick. "Micah and your father are still outside if you want to join them."

"No, I'm good here." He hugged his younger sisters tightly, giving his mother a smile.

"Okay. Listen out for the beeper on your oven. Put the potatoes in when it goes off. I should be back before its ready." Jean gave them a wave. She had been worried that her son would feel as though his parents had replaced him when the new kids came along, but he acted as though they had always been around. They were just like the younger brother and sisters he had always wished for now.

"Can we have some more popcorn? It's all gone." Aza pointed out to her brother.

"Yeah, because you ate all of it." He playfully tickled her sides, before he pushed himself to his feet with a sigh. "Drinks?" Greg reached out for their empty glasses. He collected them up, carrying them through to the kitchen with the empty popcorn bowl to get refills. "Dad," He stepped out in the garden, looking at the structure they had built so far. "What's that for?" He motioned towards a diving board looking thing off to one side of the climbing structure.

"For the slide." Daniel wiped the sweat from his forehead, showing Greg one of the sketches he had made of the design. "I just have to drill it straight onto the wood. It's still boxed up. We'll attach it last. How's it look at the moment? You like it."

Greg took a step closer, taking a look at the structure so far. There was a ladder on the far side, leading up to a platform that wasn't too high. From there he could see the section where the slide was going to go. Another board was nailed onto the other side of the platform, with circular markings from top to bottom. "What's that for?"

"Climbing wall." Micah showed him the box of proper climbing wall grips in all different colours. "Dad's gonna get a rope to tie to the top beam, so they can pull themselves up these."

"That's pretty cool." Greg brushed his hand across the ladder steps, feeling how smooth the wood was. "Are you gonna board up this side?" He motioned towards the empty side of the platform.

"Yeah, I'm making that now. Once I get some more supplies, I'll be able to put a roof on the platform. I could even put a swing set on the side if you want." He suggested, watching his son carefully looking every inch of it over. "Your climbing frame lasted for years. This one will too."

"I know." Greg smiled in his direction. "I was just thinking about the one you made me. I had rope ladders and I was forever getting rope burns on my palms. And when Nana Olaf went into hospital, I climbed up on the roof of it and wouldn't come down."

"Yeah, you almost put your mother in hospital too." Daniel laughed at the memory. "Your Papa Olaf had to borrow a ladder from the neighbours to get you down."

Greg chuckled softly at the memory of his Papa Olaf trying to get him off the roof as though he was a scared kitten. "It looks really good, but you don't have to finish it all this weekend."

"It can be a late birthday present for Colt. We'll finish up this and I'll buy the stuff for the swings and the roof tomorrow."

"Thanks, Dad." He hugged the man tightly, smelling the strong scent of wood shavings on his father's clothes. "And thank you, Micah." He playfully wrestled the seventeen year old into a head lock. "I never got to do this to anyone when I was a kid. It feels so... exhilarating." He laughed, releasing his brother after he ruffled his hand through his hair.

"Hey. I know karate, you know." Micah combed his fingers through his tousled hair, play karate chopping his brother's arms.

"Ow."

"Boys, careful." Daniel warned them, smiling as Micah managed to wrestle his older brother into an arm lock behind his back.

"Dad." His eldest reached out to him for assistance.

"Nooo, I'm not helping you. You brought this on yourself, Greg." Daniel laughed at them, looking over his shoulder as he heard a beeping noise from the kitchen. He wiped his hands down the overalls he was wearing, hurrying into the kitchen to put the potatoes on like his wife instructed. "Oh, Jean." He rolled his eyes, noticing her phone left on the side.

"Daddy, where's Greg gone?" Aza stepped into the kitchen with him, noticing the microwave was on, but there was no sign of her big brother.

"He's in the garden." Daniel motioned over his shoulder, grabbing for the oven glove off the opposite counter, before he attempted to put the potatoes in. "What do you think of the climbing frame so far? Do you like it?"

"Looks cool." Aza stepped up to the back door, noticing her brothers wrestling beside it. "Boys." She rolled her eyes at them. "Dad, where's Nick?"

"I don't know. Working probably." Her father dropped the oven glove on the side, finally washing the wood shavings from his hands. "Careful." He watched her opening the popcorn bag, not wanting her to burn her fingers. He took over for her, pouring the contents of the piping hot bag into the bowl. "Drinks too?" He grabbed the juice bottle from the fridge, filling the three empty glasses that were on the side. "Your movie still on?" He helped her with them through to the front room.

"Yeah, we were waiting for Greg." Aza crawled back under the blanket beside her sister, making room beside her as their father sat down with them for a moment. "Why's Mom gone to pick the boys up? Where are they?"

"With Nick." Zane remembered their mother saying.

"I don't know." Daniel answered as his daughters looked round at him. "You'll have to ask, Greg." He scooped out a handful of popcorn for himself, sitting with them for the rest of the movie.

* * *

Jean arrived at Nick's new apartment building within a few minutes, taking the elevator up to the third floor. She made her way towards his door, giving it a light knock. One of the other tenants to the building had let her in downstairs, so her son in law didn't actually know that it was her, yet.

A few seconds later, Nick opened the door with Jackson in his arms, giving the woman a surprised smile. "Hi... Jean." He took a step back, letting her in. "I thought Greg was..."

"He's back home with his sisters. The three of them are watching a movie together, so I offered to come and get the boys." Jean gave her grandson a smile, noticing he had food down the front of his top. "Have you fed them already?"

"Only the brownies they brought with them." Nick licked his thumb, rubbing it on the stain on his son's t-shirt. "Eh... Colt's in the bathroom."

"Okay." Jean reached for her grandchild from his arms, gently placing him on the floor. "Can you go and get your brother for me? Nana and Daddy need to talk for a minute." The toddler looked between the two of them for a moment, before he hurried off through the apartment.

"Jean, I know what you're goin' to say."

"No, you don't." Jean leant against his kitchen counter, folding her arms across her chest. "But you're going to listen to me anyway. I care about my son more than anything in the world, but he doesn't always make the best decisions. The move to Las Vegas for one and then the field position at the lab. I thought you were one of those bad choices when you walked out on him and your baby, but you came back. And you've been everything he needs since."

"I didn't leave." He tried to defend himself.

"I know. He told me the whole story." She stopped him there. "Another one of his dumb choices was kicking you out when you needed each other the most. Nick... nothing in the world compares to losing a baby, but losing each other at the same time will destroy you. Both of you. From here, it just gets bitter and messy. You don't need all of this on top of the loss of a baby. You need each other right now."

"Two." Nick corrected her, leaning against the opposite counter. "Ten weeks is still a baby. We lost two."

Jean smiled at him, agreeing with him on that one. "I've been there and done it all, Nick. I pushed Daniel away more times than I can remember, but he never gave up on us. Greg is just like me. He'll push people away to protect himself. But he still loves you and he needs you now more than ever. You both need each other. And more importantly, the boys need you two together. You should be together through this, sweetheart. I know it's not all down to you, but you are the one that's giving up here."

"I haven't..." Nick stared up at the ceiling, trying to stop the tears in his eyes. "All I ever do is screw things up for Greg. And he lets me. He can't see straight when it comes to me. He puts me before everythin', and he always ends up gettin' hurt. He's better off without me."

"And the boys?" She motioned towards the two of them in the front room. Jackson was sat on the floor with some of his toys, while his brother was leant over him, trying to instruct him on where the shapes went. "Are they really better off without you around, Nick? I've seen you with them and you're great with them, everything they need. But they need the two of you together more."

"I don't know. Maybe they are better off without me. Greg and Colt were doin' fine before I came back."

"You only saw him what... one day with Colt on his own? You have no idea how hard it was for him to go through all of that on his own. He stuck it out because he had to for the sake of his child. Having a baby alone completely threw him out of his comfort zone, but he forced himself to change for your baby. He'll never last with two of them though. You and I both know that he's too selfish to keep it all together for them. And it's my own damn fault for spoiling him rotten, after I lost all of my babies."

"I don't know. He's changed a lot. I think I'm more selfish than him now."

"Well, whether you like it or not, you both have two children that are completely dependent on you. This can't just be about your feelings or Greg's feelings, you have to factor the two of them into every decision that you make. You still love him, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Do you really?" She questioned him.

Nick gave the woman a nod. "Of course, I do. I love him more than I've ever loved anythin' my whole life. I've got a lot of regrets in my life... Greg is the one thing I would never want to change."

"In that case, I don't understand."

"Understand what?"

"If you still love him, why don't you want to be with him?" Jean spoke in a hushed tone, keeping her eye on the boys in Nick's open plan apartment. The sofa where they were playing was just a few feet away from where they were stood, making her fear that they might hear them. "You're already a huge part of this family, Nick. Micah, Zane and Aza already see you as a big brother. Daniel sees you as a son. Greg's Aunts and Uncles ask about you all the time. We're your family, Nick and we're not prepared to let you go, just because you don't think you're good enough for Greg. We think you're good enough and you belong together."

Over the past few years, Nick had learnt not to argue with his mother in law, but he couldn't bear the thought of hurting Greg again. He thought that if he just let him go, it would spare the man he loved a great deal of heartache, but things weren't always that simple.

"I love him. I really do." Nick assured her. "But he's better off without me. I can't bear the thought of hurtin' him again. I'm sorry, I really am. But I don't want to hurt him anymore. This is what's best for everyone."

"You'll change your mind. You can't stay away from the one you love for too long. You'll see." Giving out a soft sigh, Jean pushed herself off the counter, making her way into the front room. "C'mon then boys, it's time to go." She gathered up their things, ushering them to the door to get their jackets on. "You don't need that." She stopped her grandson, Jackson from putting his pacifier in his mouth. "Papa said bedtimes and naptimes, remember?"

"That's eh... my fault." Nick scratched his fingers though his hair. "I told him he could have it. I didn't know about..."

"Another reason." Jean smiled at him, lifting Jackson into the stroller. She buckled him in, giving him one of his toys to play with, while she helped, Colt with his sneakers. "I bet you can't wait until we get home. Granddad and Micah have been hard at work in the garden for hours now."

"Is it ready?" Her grandchild's eyes lit up with excitement. "Can I play on it yet?"

"Not quite, but I'm sure Granddad wouldn't mind you having a little go to test it out." She zipped up his jacket, giving Nick a smile as she climbed to her feet. "Say goodbye to Daddy. We've gotta get back for dinner."

"Can't Daddy come with us?" Colt pouted his lip out at his Nana.

"No, I gotta go to work, bud. But I'll see you soon."

"Bye, Daddy." Colt hugged him tightly as his father knelt down his level.

"Bye, bud. I love you." Nick pressed a kiss to his forehead, giving him a smile as he pulled back. "Be a good boy for Papa. I'll see you soon." He gave him another hug, before he knelt down in front of the stroller to press a kiss to his little boy's forehead. "Bye, bye, buddy. I love you."

"Buh, bye, Dada." Jacks waved his little hand at his father, trying to see him round the side of his stroller as his grandmother wheeled him out of the apartment.

Colt gave his father another quick wave, feeling bad for leaving him all alone. Back at home, they were surrounded by their family, but his father didn't have anybody with him. He was all alone.

* * *

**Thank you for reading, please review. It's a little dark until about chapter 7, but they have a lot of issues to work out, so it needs to be done. Have a great weekend.**

**~ Holly**


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three:**

"Ooh... ow... my toe. My toe. My toe. Ow..." Hopping on one foot towards the doorway, Greg clicked on the light, revealing the mini blue train, the cursed object that he had stubbed his toe on in the dark.

If Nick was still living with them, he would have picked up all the boys toys before they went to bed, leaving a clear walkway to any door or light switch. Greg still hadn't got the sense to do that, still relying on a man that wasn't even there anymore to lock all the doors and windows, make sure any electrics that didn't need to be turned on were turned off and picking up dangerous toys that could cause serious injury to unsuspecting toes.

"Ow," He dropped to the edge of his bed, pulling off his sock to see the damage. His little toe was red and throbbing, but it didn't appear to be broken. He rubbed the side of his foot, feeling a wet spot of blood. "Arrgh." He realised the tip of the train had pierced through his skin.

"Greg?" His younger sister, Aza stepped into his brightly lit bedroom, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just stubbed my toe." Putting his arm around her, Greg hugged her tightly against his side, gently combing his fingers through her tousled brown hair. "Why are you awake? It's... three in the morning." He checked the time beside him.

"Why are you?" She reversed the question on him.

Greg gave her a smile, lifting her onto the bed beside him. "I don't sleep much lately. I'm up most nights working anyway. When I'm home, it just feels weird to sleep when it's dark out."

"I can't sleep because Daddy's snoring."

"Oh that's Mom, trust me. Dad doesn't snore, he never has. Mom says it's her allergies, but she's been snoring since I was a kid." Greg crawled backwards on his bed, resting his head against his pillow. His sister did the same, giving him a curious look as she dropped her head to the pillow beside his own. "What?"

"Why wasn't Nick here this weekend?" Their mother had told them that he was away working, but she didn't believe that for a second. She knew that something was up and she was determined to get to the bottom of it.

"Why do you think?"

"Did you fall out?" Aza guessed. "Did he move out? Why? When Zane and Micah fall out, they shout at each other for a little while, then Mom separates them. They're friends again within a few hours." The twelve year old insightfully told him.

"Grownups fall out a little definitely to bickering teens."

"What did you fight about?"

"You ask way too many questions, kiddo." Greg playfully tickled his youngest sister's sides, erupting a giggle from her lips. "Nick and I... it's complicated. It's always been complicated and it's gonna remain like that until one of us is... you know. Things between us have been complicated since the first time he laid eyes on me. I love him. But maybe Mom was right. Maybe I shoulda found some boring normal boyfriend that wouldn't complicate my life so much."

"But you love, Nick, and he loves you. That means you're meant to be together. Shrek and the princesses love is complicated. They live happily ever after though."

"You can't compare me to a cartoon, especially not Shrek. Besides, they're more alike than they think. Their relationship works because they're both ogres. It's only complicated in the beginning, because the princess is conflicted over the curse of the ogre that she has and Shrek is just doing a job to try and get the fairy tale creatures off his front lawn... and don't compare my life to some fairytale cartoon."

"You're only embarrassed because you know the movie too well." Aza giggled, resting against her elbow beside her brother. "The story just builds up to it. Shrek and the princess belong together because they love each and accept each other for who they are."

"Is that what they're teaching in schools these days? Shakespeare is finally out the window, huh? I would have loved to study something like Shrek and the princesses romance back in my day. My old boss continuously quoted Shakespeare stuff, but I never knew what he was talking about. Some of it stuck. Like... a fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool. He said it loads of times on different cases. And the course of true love never did run smooth. He quoted that one at a crime scene where a husband had literally bashed..."

Before the word 'brains' crossed his lips, Greg realised that he was talking to a pre teen that shouldn't know things like that.

"Anyway, that one is pretty much a quotation of my own love life with Nick." He caught sight of his younger sister yawning, giving her another playful tickle. "Go on, you should go back to bed. You've got a long drive back home in the morning."

"I don't want to."

"You have to, doesn't matter if you don't want to." He chuckled softly, giving her a playful push towards the edge of the bed. "Go on, I'll see you in the morning."

"It's so unfair." She reluctantly climbed off the bed, pouting her lip out at him. "You're a much nicer big brother than Micah, but you live so far away. Why can't you live closer to us?"

"Because my life is here. You'll understand when you're older. Doesn't mean that we're not a family. We can still see each other whenever we want."

"Not when school starts up again." She climbed back onto the bed, crossing her legs as she looked at her brother in front of her. "Why would you want to live so far away from your family? I bet Nick's really lonely without all of his family."

"Yeah... I bet he is." Greg agreed with her. "But how can I be lonely when I've got you lot traipsing through my house every other weekend." He playfully tickled her, before he pulled her in for a hug. "Go to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night." Aza returned the hug, climbing off the bed again. "Hey Greg, if you want Nick back, you have to fight for him. No one in the fairytales just gives up on getting the person that they love. They always fight for them, then they get together and they live happily ever after."

"Because it would be a pretty boring storyline otherwise." He pointed out to her, giving her a smile. "Stop analysing my life, you're twelve. Go back to bed." He ushered her away, getting a smile out of her.

"Night."

"G'night." Greg dropped his head back to his pillow, giving out a wide yawn. He reached for Nick's pillow beside him, still containing the scent of the man he adored. He really did want him back, but he didn't know what else he could do besides begging him to take him back.

After a few minutes of lying in his cold dark, lonely bedroom, Greg decided that he wasn't going to sit on it anymore. He needed his husband to talk to him. He needed to at least know if Nick still loved him. He pushed himself out of bed, throwing his pyjamas across the room on route to grabbing his disposed clothes that he had been wearing all day.

He drove straight to the lab without telling anyone, bumping into Sara the second he arrived.

"You're not on shift tonight."

"Hello to you too." He smiled at her, stuffing his shaking hands into his jeans pockets. "Hey Sara, have you seen Nick tonight?" He followed her through the labs hallways, towards the open door to the trace lab. "He is still on shift tonight, isn't he?"

"Uh... yeah, I think so. I haven't seen him though. He's probably out in the field." She glanced around the deserted lab, before she started rifling through the stack of files on Hodges' desk. "Shouldn't you know if you own husband is on shift?" Sara smirked, stepping around the desk to search through the second pile.

"Hey, hey, hey..." Hodges hurried through the halls, stopping Sara from messing up his system. "You can't just barge in here and do what you like."

"Where's my results then, David? You promised me them hours ago." Sara demanded, giving out a heavy sigh as he started searching through his supposed system for her results. He finally found it, slapping it into her awaiting palm, before he walked away. "Thank you." She took the file with her out of the door, noticing the look on Greg's face. "Miss the old night shift crew?"

"A little." He shrugged, following her through to the layout room where she had her case notes and photos set up. "Wouldn't say that I'm exactly missing, David Hodges. But I miss stuff." He stayed at the doorway of the room, keeping out of her way while she got on with her work. "Sara..."

"Yeah." She cast her eyes towards him, unable to recall the last time she saw him look so nervous. "What's up?"

"Nick and I..." He spoke softly, licking his lips as he inhaled a deep breath. "We're not together anymore."

"I guessed something was up." Sara took a seat at the table, motioning for him to take the empty seat beside her. "Nick's been really quiet the last couple of months. Like really quiet. I know he's usually quiet while he's working, but the silence has been deafening around him lately."

"Really?" He took the seat beside her.

"Yeah, so I guessed something was up. I didn't think it would be this, but it explains a lot. What'd he do this time?"

"It wasn't like that." Greg shook his head, looking down at his hands in his lap. "It wasn't even him, not really. It was me. I kicked him out. I ruined everything we had in a heartbeat. And I hate myself for it. All my life, I've ruined every good thing that came along. I can't even help it, it's just me."

"I wouldn't say that you ruin everything you touch." Sara took his hand into her own, giving him a smile as he looked up at her. "It's not broken completely. You can still fix it. Things between you and Nick." She explained, seeing the confusion on his face. "Granted I haven't known, Nick, anywhere near as long as you have, but I'd say he's definitely still in love with you. He seems a little lost and lonely at the moment."

Looking over his shoulder as she motioned towards the window, Greg spotted his husband making his way through the lab, not even taking any notice of anyone around him.

"Hey," Sara stopped him from standing up. "Maybe you shouldn't do the reunion thing in the middle of the lab. You can talk to him after work or something."

"I just have to see him." Greg pushed himself to his feet, following in the older man's footsteps towards the break room. He reached out for the door handle, ready to walk inside, when a case of butterflies in the stomach suddenly hit him. He watched the man making himself a coffee, missing the simple action of watching him in their own kitchen.

Before Nick could turn around and see him spying on him, Greg made a hasty getaway, returning home to the comfort of his bed.

The next day, he waved goodbye to his family, wishing they could stay a day longer, but they had to get back to their own lives. He woke the boys up to say goodbye to them, before he started getting their breakfasts ready for their long day ahead.

"I wish Nana and Granddad could come round every weekend." Colt stated, looking out the window at the finished climbing frame. There was now a bright blue slide, a sturdy climbing wall with a rope dangling from it and the ladder up to the platform that had a roof on it now. "Can we play outside, Papa?"

"No, we have to get ready for school." Greg lifted his son onto one of the seats around the island, handing him his spoon for his cereals. "You can play on it after school. Eat up, I'm gonna go and get your clothes." He hurried up the stairs, feeling exhausted after no sleep last night. He grabbed a t-shirt and shorts for Colt, before he searched for some things for Jackson in the boys bedroom.

Once they finished their breakfasts, Colt got himself dressed, while Greg lay Jackson on the living room floor to put him in a clean diaper. He had given up trying to potty train him at the moment. It was a lot harder to keep on top of with everything else going on in his life at the moment.

"Dada," The toddler lifted his arms over his head, allowing his father to put his t-shirt on him. "Dada."

"Daddy is picking you up from day care later." Greg lifted him against his chest, pulling up the toddler's jeans over his diaper. "Papa's got to work all day today. You'll spend the afternoon with Daddy though. I think he's taking you to the park."

"Play. I play." Jackson struggled in his arms.

"We've gotta go soon, c'mon. Let's go find your brother." He pressed a kiss to his little boy's cheek, lifting him into his arms as he climbed to his feet.

"Colt, are you ready? Colt?" He searched the house for him, finding him attempting to tie his shoes at the front door.

"I can't do it, Papa." He gave up with a sigh. "I'll never be able to do it. Stupid laces."

Carefully setting Jackson on the floor, Greg knelt down in front of Colt, grabbing for the dangling laces to do it himself.

"Nooo!" His son squealed at him. "You have to show me." He angrily kicked his foot, stopping his father from tying them.

"Colt, we don't have time."

"Daddy shows me. Nooo!" He pushed Greg away from his shoe. "I don't want you to do it. I want to do it."

Throwing his hands up in the air, Greg gave up trying to help him, grabbing their jackets by the door instead. He left his son to his tantrum, leaving his shoes untied as he packed his son's things into his school bag. "Daddy's picking you up from school later. You can ask him to teach you how to tie them again. Are we ready to go?"

"Papa," Colt motioned towards his father's clothes. "You're still in your PJ's."

"I knew that." He smiled at the two of them. "Okay, take your brother into the playroom for a few minutes. I'll be right back." Greg checked to make sure that Colt took Jackson with him, before he hurried up the stairs to his room. He grabbed his work jeans and a t-shirt, quickly dressing himself into them, so they could leave.

He dropped Jackson off at day care first, before he took Colt to school. The first graders classroom was at the back of the school, a separate building from the other years, so the younger kids had their own privacy from the older ones. He led his son to his cubby first, hanging up his jacket for him, while Colt took his bag off.

"You got your lunch, didn't you?"

"Yeah." Colt pulled out his batman lunch box from his backpack. He slid it into the slot of his cubby, before he left his father's side to find his friends.

"Oh, bye then." His father sarcastically remarked, zipping up his backpack again. He gave his son a wave from the hallway, but Colt and his best friend, Max were already too busy to even notice him.

"Hey, your Colt's father, right?" A woman appeared beside him, handing him an invitation from her hands. "It's Cora's birthday party next week. She's invited her whole class. A treasure hunt at our house."

"Thank you." Greg looked over the invitation, rather than the woman trying to introduce herself to him.

"I'm Vicca by the way." The woman motioned over her shoulder towards a pigtailed little girl. "That's my daughter, Cora."

"Greg." He shook her hand, putting the invitation in Colt's bag, so he didn't lose it. He gave her a smile, before he turned towards the door to get to work. He felt really tired after no sleep last night, but he was bound to the lab for the next few days, working on overdue paperwork that the last supervisor left for him.

"Ooh, Mr Sanders," One of the labs newest recruits stepped out of his old lab, handing him a stack of files. She brushed her thick black fringe across her forehead, explaining, "I was here all night processing every DNA sample that night shift brought me."

"Why are you giving it to me then?"

"Because I managed to find an ID on the suspect. He was arrested a few years ago for driving under the influence. I called Brass. They put an APB out on him and he told me to tell you as soon as you get in. Since you're the acting supervisor and all." She reported, giving him a smile. "Welcome back, boss."

Greg returned with a sarcastic smile, making his way towards his office at the end of the hall. He ditched the files on his desk, noticing a posit note stuck to his computer. He peeled it off, recognising the number written on it as his mother's. "Gone less than five minutes and you're already checking up on me?" He spoke to himself, before he gave Captain Brass a call. "Hey, it's me. Where are we at on the case?"

"We're just outside the suspect's house with a warrant now. We might need a CSI on hand."

"I'm game." Greg reached for a pen and some paper. "What's the address?"

After a short drive to the edge of town, Greg arrived at the house related to the night shifts case. He grabbed his kit off the back seat, making his way up to the house, where Brass and one of grave yard shift CSI's, Carla was waiting. She usually worked with Nick, but thankfully, he couldn't see any sign of the man.

"Hey, it doesn't look like anybody's home." Carla ushered the younger man inside. "Do you want me to catch you up on the case?"

"Yeah. I read some of the case notes on the way over."

"Well, the remains of multiple women were found while some construction guys were doing some renovations to a parking lot in town. Oldest set of remains were from at least eight years ago and the most recent body was that teenager that's been on the news a lot lately. As she was the freshest, the suspects DNA on her was still useable and we managed to get a match."

Greg ducked under the police crime scene tape, taking a look around the messy house. "This guy is the DNA match?" He looked over the place, checking to make sure that his husband wasn't in sight, rather than anything that was case related. "I don't know about you, but he doesn't exactly scream 'master mind' behind it all."

"They never do." Carla smirked, showing him to a study that she had been processing. "I found the picture of the latest vic on his desk." She held it up. "Looks like a surveillance pic. He must have been stalking her for a while. At least two or three weeks by the date stamps on these. There's three more there, but we haven't actually been able to identify all the other vics yet. They could be still alive, or they could be... we haven't figured that part out yet."

Greg set down his case, reaching into his pocket for some gloves. "Don't you have a home to go to?" He noticed Carla yawning out the corner of his eye. "I can handle this if you wonna get back."

"Are you kidding? I wonna see this case to the end. Other people might just be able to leave it and head home to sleep, but I like to see how it ends."

Greg chuckled softly, admiring her work ethic. "Okay, just try to stick to the easy stuff. You don't want to compromise any evidence for the case. The trainees are outside. You could always help out by bossing them about if you want. Makes me feel better when I'm tired."

"Excellent." Carla chuckled, rubbing her hands together. "He's not here." She saw the look on his face as she turned towards the door. "Nick. He's gone home already. Give me a shout if you need a hand. Oh, and there's a funky smell in the bedroom upstairs. I took a quick peek around, but didn't see anything case related. You might wonna take a look though."

"Thanks." He gave her a smile, turning his attention towards the desk as she left the room. He retrieved his phone from his pocket, snapping a few pictures of the large map that was under all the papers. He didn't know what this man did for a living, but there were a lot of research papers on trees growing in the local woods. He glanced up as he heard a rattling noise, but he couldn't tell where it was coming from.

Taking a step towards the window, Greg looked out at the tree line surrounding the house, noticing a figure running towards it. He quickly grabbed for his weapon holster, hurrying for the back door.

"Suspect in the tree line!" He called out, hoping the deputies out front would hear him.

"Sanders!" Brass hurried through the house, going as quick as his legs could carry him after the young CSI. "I'm getting too old for this." He panted, reaching for his radio from his belt. "Control, we've got a situation here. Suspect on the scene. He's on foot through the woods. Requesting immediate backup to my location." He radioed it in, running after Greg before he lost him.

The determined CSI hurried after the suspect through the woods for a while, trying desperately not to stumble over the various tree roots, rocks and holes in the ground. He didn't know how long he was chasing him for, but when the suspect finally stopped for a breather, Greg quickly aimed his gun out in front of him, cautiously approaching the man.

"Stop! LVPD. Hands up." He ordered, taking a few hesitant steps towards him. "Turn around. Slowly!"

The suspect slowly turned, revealing his fresh teenage face. He coughed with exhaustion, gulping hard on the lump in his throat as he looked at the gun pointing towards him.

Greg knew right away that it wasn't the right guy. He wouldn't have even been born when the first victim was killed. "Who are you?" He asked, noticing the teen's eyes looking to his left.

The CSI quickly turned his head in the same direction, but it was too late.

The real suspect hit him with what he could only guess was some sort of large tree branch.

Greg went down in an instant, dropping his gun from the hard blow to his ribs. He quickly scrambled through the dead leaves, trying to grab for his gun again, when he felt a second blow to the side of his head.

The suspect kicked him in the ribs, rolling him over onto his back.

All of Greg's self defensive training immediately went out the window. He instantly felt as though he was right back in that alley, completely helpless and alone, while they did anything they wanted to him, leaving him a bruised and battered mess for someone else to clean up.

* * *

**Thank you for reading, I will try and get the next chapter uploaded this weekend, don't want to leave you hanging on the cliffe for too long. Please let me know what you thought, have a great weekend!**

**~ Holly**


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"Greg, Greg, Greg." Brass gently tapped his cheek, trying to wake him up. "C'mon, you alright?" Other than the blood running down the side of his head, he didn't look too bad, so the Captain attempted to pull him to his feet. Helped him to his feet more like, as the younger man was so determined to get up. "Easy, easy..." He spoke softly, supporting his unstable weight against his side. "You took a nasty blow there. Shouldn't you lay down until an ambulance gets here or something?"

"The suspects?" He held the side of his chest, feeling the bruises already beginning to form.

"We've got people covering the access road, we'll pin him down. You okay?" He continued to give him a concerned look, wondering what even happened to knock him out like that. "You should sit this one out. At least get yourself seen at the hospital."

"No, I'm good." Greg brushed his fingertips across his forehead, feeling blood dribbling from his hairline. "I'm gonna start wearing a helmet to work." He grunted, grabbing his gun from the dead leaves. At least the suspects didn't think to take his gun with them. He would have really been in trouble then.

"He's gone." As they reached the road, Brass leant against his knees, panting heavily. "Secure the area. Call in for more backup." He ordered his team, grabbing his phone from his belt to call it in. "Sanders, you better get that looked at."

"Yeah, I know the drill." Greg held his head, perching himself on the hood of one of the police cars. He reached into his pocket to find his cell, but it wasn't there. He searched his other pockets, hoping he had just left it at the scene. But then he realised that his CSI ID was no longer attached to his vest and his wallet was gone from his jeans. "Damn it." He pushed himself to his feet, hurrying over to Brass. "Uh... the suspects got my ID . . . and my wallet . . . possibly my phone."

"While you were out?" Brass guessed, watching as Greg double checked. "We better find him then."

"My phone is low jacked if that helps. I can get Archie from the lab to locate it."

"Here." The Captain handed him his phone. "Make the call then get yourself to the emergency room. That head looks bad. Get one of the deputies to drive you."

Greg gave him a nod, quickly making the call to Archie to fill him in on the case. He told him to contact Captain Brass when he got a location on his cell, before he gave the man his phone back. He caught a ride from a deputy to the hospital, spending the rest of his afternoon waiting to be seen by a doctor.

"Headache?" The doctor looked into each of his eyes with a little pen light, getting a slight nod from his patient. "I'll get a nurse to stitch that up for you, then I'll organise a head CT." With his gloved hands, he gently felt the back of his patient's head, checking on the swelling of the first blow. "Any pain there?"

"Nope, just the front." Greg titled his head to the side, noticing a nicotine patch stuck to the back of his doctor's neck. The man looked as though he was about the same age as him, he even had a wedding ring on his finger. He could see the impression of the band beneath the white latex glove on his hand. "Are you married?" He queried.

"Divorced." He answered, snapping the gloves off his hands. "I can getcha some pain killers for the ribs in a moment." He noticed the man holding his side again. "Can I take a look?"

"No." Greg objected, pulling himself away from the man. "Just get me some pain killers, so I can get out of here."

"That head is going to need seeing to before you go anywhere. There could be some damage that we can't see yet. I'll go and book the head CT now. Would you like us to call anyone for you? It says here your husband is your next of kin."

"No." Greg shook his head. The last thing he wanted was to feel like a damsel in distress in front of his husband. "We're separated. And I don't need anybody."

"Okay, I'll go and find you a nurse." He smiled at him, before he made his way out of the cubicle. He pulled the curtain closed once he was gone, leaving Greg alone again.

Greg rested his head back against the pillow, waiting for what seemed like hours for someone to come back. He started to count the ceiling tiles above him, noticing thick clumps of dust in the vent and an unusual looking scuff mark directly above him. He sat up a moment later, inspecting the sheets that he had been sitting on. He had never been conscious about small details or germs before he started out in the field, but now he was constantly aware of every little detail around him.

When the curtain to his cubicle finally slid open, Greg sat up straight, growing in pain from the tenderness of his ribs. "Finally," He sighed in relief, until he noticed Nick stood in his cubicle, rather than a nurse. "I told them I didn't want you here. What are you doing here?"

"Brass, he called me from the lab." Nick took a step closer to the bed, fearing the worst at the sight of the blood running down the side of his lover's head.

"Why?" Greg gave him a confused look, Brass had never cared that they were married before.

"I'm still down as your next of kin. We haven't exactly told any of them that we're not together anymore. So he called me. When he did, I immediately thought..."

"You can't be here."

"Why?"

"You're supposed to pick, Jackson up from day care and, Colt from school. What are they gonna do..."

"Would you relax for a minute. They're with my sister already. I picked em up hours ago. Have you been here by yourself all this time?" He ignored the younger man's pre-Modonna outburst, taking another step closer. "As soon as I got the call... I just had to be here for you." Blocking Greg's exit from escaping the room, Nick asked, "What are they doin'? Your heads still bleedin'. How long have you been here? Have they even seen you yet?"

"Yes, Nick. You don't need to be here. Don't fuss. I hate it when you fuss." He dropped back to the bed, holding his ribs in agony. "If you really wonna be helpful, go and find my doctor to sign me out of here. I want to go home."

He glanced at the clock over Nick's head, realising he had been waiting in the hospital for nearly four hours now. Half of that was spent out in the waiting room, while the rest of it was waiting for a scan that he didn't even need.

"You know I'm not gonna do that. This is where you need to be." His husband knew how much he hated hospitals, so he didn't give in to his demands. "Is this still bleedin'?" He lightly touched his fingertips to the side of Greg's head, causing the younger man to flinch away from him. "It looks like it's still bleedin'. When's the last time they saw you?"

"Just go away, Nick." He gave him a push away from the bed.

"Fine." Nick backed out the door, deciding to find Greg's doctor for him, in hopes of speeding things along a little. "Excuse me," He stopped at the nurses' station, giving the young brunette behind the desk a smile to get her attention. "I need to speak to Greg Sanders' doctor."

"Eh," She searched her desk for the paperwork, nodding as she found the patient file. "Doctor Doyle. He's in surgery with another patient at the moment. We're a little short staffed today, so he's covering the emergency ward and surgeries."

"Another doctor then?" Nick urged. "His heads still bleedin' and he wants to go home. Can you get somebody in to see him?"

"Sure." She nodded slightly, waiting until he walked away, before she picked up the phone.

Instead of returning to Greg's cubicle, Nick searched around the hospital for himself, finding a senior nurse on her coffee break. She was more than happy to take a look at Greg, only he wasn't in the cubicle when they got back.

"Wait here one second, I know where he'd go." Nick hurried through the waiting room towards the exit, grabbing the younger man's arm as he reached the parking lot. "What are you crazy now? You can't just discharge yourself like that. Your heads still bleedin', you friggin' idiot."

"Like you care. Let go." Greg pulled his arm away from him. "What are you even doing here?"

"Would you just get back in there? We don't have time for another battle of egos right now. You could have some serious internal damage or somethin'." He grabbed for his arm again, leading him back to his cubicle, where the nurse was waiting. "Where'd you think you were gonna go anyway? You don't have your wallet or your car here."

"If I wanted lecturing I would have called my mother." Greg tilted his head to the side, allowing the nurse to clean his head up a bit. "Did you even tell the boys where you were going?"

"Can I just do somethin' for you without you moanin' about it?" His husband took a seat on the end of the bed, giving the nurse a smile as she stuck a bandage over his head. "Thank you." He thanked her again, turning his attention to Greg on the bed once she was gone. "Why were you chasin' down a suspect in the first place? You have no business..."

"Shut up, Nick." The younger man cut him off, tilting his head back against the pillow behind him, so he didn't have to look him in the eye. "Like you've never gone all vigilante on a case."

"They could have killed you. You're a CSI, you have no trainin'..."

"Yes, I know. Do you have to keep going on about it?" He glared at him. "I'm fine, just leave me alone. I don't want you here."

"Too bad." He stayed put, folding his arms across his chest. "I'm stayin' whether you like it or not."

"Then I'll go." Greg swung his legs off the bed again.

"No you won't." His husband pushed himself to his feet, holding Greg in place on the bed. "Your head has already taken a serious blow, this time it could have done some serious damage. You could have some internal bleedin' or somethin', then where will you be? You need to be here."

Greg gave out a reluctant sigh, turning his attention towards the curtain as it was pulled open. He shrugged Nick's hands off his shoulders, letting the doctor examine his head for a second time.

"Any nausea, dizziness or anything like that?" Doctor Doyle asked, lightly feeling his patient's head with his fingertips. He grabbed Greg's file from the nurse behind him, taking a look at the younger man's obs. "Okay, we'll take you up for your head CT now. Your blood work is fine, pressure and temperature... we just need the scan to make sure. Nurse, could you..." He motioned towards the bed.

"What about his ribs?" Nick stopped the doctor from disappearing again. "Can you check them too?"

The doctor looked at Greg's husband a moment, before he turned back to his patient who had refused any kind of examination earlier. Instead of refusing to be seen this time, Greg raised his t-shirt, letting the man see his bruised and battered ribs.

"Well, I don't think they're broken." Doctor Doyle reported, removing his latex gloves. "We can do an x-ray to be sure, but I think they're just bruised. They'll probably cause you some discomfort for a while, but we can get you some pain killers for that. Let's get your head scan sorted out first."

"Okay," The nurse stepped forwards, securing a patient ID band around Greg's wrist. "We'll take you up for your head CT now. Mr Stokes, there's a relatives room down the hall." The nurse directed him to it, while she took Greg off to the elevator.

Nick grabbed himself a coffee while he waited, hoping that everything with the scan was going to be okay. He found his way to the relatives room shortly after that, finding a young mother holding her baby boy tightly in her arms. He took a seat opposite them, realising that if their own baby had survived, they would have been born right about now.

They could have been here to have a baby, rather than stitches to Greg's head.

He started to wonder if they would have had another boy or their first little girl. He was hoping for a girl when he first found out that Greg was pregnant, but now, he wasn't so sure if he even wanted anymore children. He wouldn't give up the two he had for anything in the world, but he couldn't bare going through anything like that again. He didn't even want to put Greg through anything like that again.

He already had enough on his plate at the moment.

"Mr Stokes, hi." A nurse found him in the relatives waiting room, after Greg returned from his CT scan. "Your partner is back from his scan and has been moved up to the ward now. You can go and see him if you want. The doctor will be with you shortly."

"He's okay?" He stopped the woman from walking away. "There wasn't any..."

"I'm sorry, I don't know how the scan went. The doctor will answer any of your questions as soon as he's reviewed Greg's scans. Follow me, I'll take you up to the ward." She waited for him to grab his coffee and jacket, before she led the way. "It's not too busy up on the ward right now, so he should be able to get some sleep after the doctor's reviewed his scans. Have you two been together long?" She queried, catching a slight nod from him. "Don't worry too much about him. It always looks worse than it is with a head injury. I've stitched way worse wounds than his."

"I just don't like him to be in here at all."

Nick followed her to the ward, finding Greg in a ward of his own in the far bed by the window. He wasn't in his work clothes anymore, making him look uncomfortable as he was in one of the familiar itchy hospital gowns that took away everyone's dignity.

As soon as he saw him, Greg turned his head away, closing his eyes as he heard Nick's footsteps approaching. "I know you don't want me here." He stuffed his hands in his pockets, making sure that Greg was okay for himself. "I just wanted to see you. Make sure you were okay. I still care about you."

"Can you just go?" The younger man's voice croaked, sounding as though he was about to cry.

"Greg please, we need to talk." He took a step closer, begging him for another chance. "I miss you. I feel like I'm lost without you. I hate this bitterness between us. I just want it to stop. I want you back, baby. I'll do anythin', just please, let me in."

"Please . . . don't . . . just go."

"Greg, what are you so scared of? I'm not gonna hurt you again. I wouldn't do that, not after everythin'..."

"Go!" He shouted at him, keeping his head turned so he wouldn't have to look him in the eye.

"You know, your Mom gave me crap about how I'm not givin' us a chance, but it's all you, Greg. It's always you. We always have to do everythin' that you want to do. Everythin' is always about you. I didn't act how you wanted me to act after we lost our babies, so you threw me out. And you've only got yourself to blame for all of this." The older man snapped at him, turning for the door behind him again. "She's right about one thing though, you are too selfish to ever be part of a family."

"Just go!" Greg kept his head turned away from him, feeling his tears bubbling to the surface. He turned his head to the side after a few minutes, realising that Nick really had gone, immediately making him regret it again. "God, what's wrong with me?" He shouted at himself, wiping the tears from his eyes as his nurse returned.

He heard her footsteps across the squeaky ward floor, stopping at his bedside. She clattered some things about on the tray table, before she made her way round the other side of the bed, to where Greg could see her.

"Okay?" The nurse spoke softly, pretending she didn't hear anything as she handed him a little plastic cup with some pain killers in it. "Painkillers." She smiled at him, handing him the glass of water from her other hand. "Your doctor said that your scans didn't show any damage. He's pretty rushed off his feet today, but he will come by and see you eventually. We're a little short staffed with this flu thing going around."

"Has Nick gone?" He asked her, handing her back the cups as he adjusted himself on the bed.

"Your husband?" She guessed, giving him a slight nod. "I can get him back or call someone else for you."

Greg shook his head, turning to look out the window beside him again. "No more visitors."

"Are you sure?" The nurse reached for his wrist, checking his patient ID wrist band with the file she was holding in her hands. "I know it's none of my business, but I think he loves you a lot."

"Not enough though." Greg looked at the chart she had in her hands, reading through his own notes upside-down. "More blood work? What are you looking for? Is something wrong?"

She shook her head, concealing his notes from him. "I'll go and find your doctor for you. He should have your x-rays back now." She smiled at him, making a quick getaway with his notes in hand.

Reluctantly, Greg decided to remain in bed, beginning to feel a little sleepy. He couldn't stop thinking about what Nick had said, making him feel as though he should have been the one to leave, while Nick took care of their boys.

If his mother thought he was too selfish too, then it must be true.

* * *

Dropping to his sister's sofa, Nick tightly closed his eyes, feeling his heart sinking in his chest as what he just said to his husband started to sink in. He let out a deep breath he didn't even realise he was holding in, releasing his tears from their prison at the same time.

His sister quickly set down the coffee she had made him, before she wrapped her arms around her baby brother's shoulders. "You said he wasn't that bad." She grabbed him a tissue, letting him dry his eyes before the children came in. "What did the doctors really say? Was there a problem with his scans?" She assumed the worse, since her brother was in tears.

Nick shook his head slightly, resting his head in his hands as he tried to think everything over. "He really doesn't love me anymore."

"Who?" Gwen gave him a quizzical look, realising who he meant, even though he stayed quiet. She gently placed her hands over his, wondering what brought him to that conclusion. "You know, Michael and I split when Lucas was two. I thought it was over for sure, but here we are thirty odd years later and we're still together."

"You were seventeen." Her brother pointed out to her, combing his fingers through his hair. He lowered his hands to his knees, feeling them shaking as his lower lip started to quiver again. "I feel numb inside without him. I thought that all this would just blow over..." He glanced up at his sister, gritting his teeth together as he tried desperately not to cry again. "But it's over. It's all completely gone."

"Nicky," His sister's heart broke for him. She pulled him in for a hug again, closing her eyes as she hugged him tightly against her shoulder. She felt a cold shiver running down her spine at the thought of her brother being all alone again, without a family to love him like they all had. "God, you've set me off now." She wiped her hands across her cheeks, pressing a kiss to the side of her younger brother's forehead. "You know what I think you should do? I think you should go back there and demand another chance. You're worth another chance. And so is Greg. You can't give up on this."

Nick shook his head, slumping back against the sofa cushions. "I don't think I am. And I have tried."

"For all of five seconds, it takes a lot more than that to make a marriage work." Gwen rolled her eyes at him, folding her arms across her chest as her nephew made his way into the room. Colt hurried straight for his father, climbing into the man's arms for a hug of his own. "I bet your kids think you're worth it." His sister climbed to her feet, leaving them to it.

"Daddy, where's Papa?" Colt queried, resting his head against his father's shoulder as he hugged him tightly.

"He's still at the hospital, bud." Nick looked down into his son's eyes, feeling his heart breaking from the sadness in them. He pressed a kiss to the centre of his forehead, holding his little fingers in his hand as he thought about what he was going to do. "Did you brush your teeth yet?" He asked, gently combing his fingers through his son's tousled hair.

"No, I haven't finished my hot chocolate."

"You better go finish it up then. It's almost bed time. I'll be right there." His father lifted him to his feet, sending him off to the kitchen. Once he was gone, Nick made his way across the room to the travel cot, watching his baby boy softly sucking his pacifier in his mouth while he slept. He hadn't had his bath or dinner yet, but he was soundly sleeping as though he had. "Hey, sis." He called out to her. "Can you make sure that Colt goes to bed?"

"Where are you goin'?" She gave him a curious look, giving him a smile as he grabbed for his jacket. "Aren't visitin' hours over? Shouldn't you go back in the mornin' or somethin'?"

Nick gave her a shrug. "I don't know, but I can't just sit home and wait." He adjusted his jacket collar, giving his sister a slight smile. "You were right, Greg's worth it. And I can't just leave him there by himself. He hates hospitals. Probably more than he hates me right now. I just... I need to talk to him." He made his way through to the kitchen, pressing a kiss to the top of his son's head. "Auntie Gwen is gonna put you to bed tonight. But I'll see you in the mornin', okay?"

"But I'm almost finished." Colt showed him his hot chocolate mug.

"I know, but I have to go back to the hospital to be with Papa." Nick brushed his thumb across the corner of his son's mouth, removing the chocolaty stain from his lips. "He doesn't like bein' at the hospital, especially by himself."

"Can I come with you?"

"No, I need you to stay here and take care of your baby brother for me." His father gently combed his fingers through his hair, giving him a smile as he looked into his eyes. "You can't leave your baby brother here by himself. He doesn't like bein' alone either. He needs you to look out for him."

"O-kay." Colt reluctantly agreed, throwing his arms around his father's neck for another hug. "Can you tell Papa that I need my red sneakers for tomorrow?"

Nick smiled at him, wishing he saw the world as simple as his son did. "I'll tell him. G'night, kiddo." He pressed a kiss to the side of his head, before he made a move towards the door.

"Nick," His sister stopped him from running out so quickly, trying to get him to see things realistically for a second. "Your emotions are runnin' really high at the moment. Your stressed and hurt. Both of you. It's not gonna just fix itself in a heartbeat. It's gonna take some time. And a little patience." She added, blocking his exit to the door. "A lot of patience, somethin' that you've never really been that good at. You've always wanted things right now, you've never been very good at waitin'."

"I can be patient." Nick reached for the door around her. "But I've screwed up just about every relationship that I've ever had. Greg gave me a chance when I just walked out on him. If I've really lost him... I need to know now. And I can't leave him there. He's terrified of hospitals. He wasn't even bothered about me, he just wanted to get out of there."

Gwen stepped out of the way of the door, wanting to wish him luck, but she didn't want to jinx it for him.

Her brother drove straight to the hospital, feeling as though he was about to cry again. He hurried through the hospital towards the ward where Greg was staying, finding him right where he left him, only he was fast asleep this time.

"Excuse me," He spotted Greg's doctor making his way through the hall. "Is he allowed to sleep. If he has..."

"There's no sign of a concussion or any swelling on his scans." The doctor stopped him from panicking. "I'd like to keep him in for observation since he was knocked out, but there's nothing of any concern really. All his tests really showed was that he's a little anaemic. We gave him some pain killers for his ribs, so he shouldn't be in any pain anymore. You're welcome to sit with him."

"He's okay?"

"Yeah." The man nodded, giving him a reassuring smile. "He got lucky. He's gonna feel a little headachy for a while, but he'll be okay."

Nick thanked the man, before he inhaled a deep breath. He cautiously made his way over to Greg, not really wanting to get his head bitten off again, but he needed to know for himself if he was going to be okay. "Greg?" He whispered, giving out a small sigh of relief as the younger man was fast asleep.

Without a second thought, he leant over the sleeping angel, pressing a delicate kiss to his forehead.

He pulled up a chair beside his bed, watching his partner's chest slowly moving up and down with each breath that he took. It hitched a few times from the pain in his ribs, but he managed to sleep straight through the clattering noises from the trolleys outside and the occasional door alarm as relatives, doctors and nurses were buzzed through to the ward.

Remaining by his bedside the whole night, Nick fell in love with him all over again, wishing that Greg could give him another chance. He didn't expect him to after what he had already done to him in the past, but he couldn't bear the thought of being away from him for so long again.

It was evident to him that they needed each other now more than ever. They were falling apart without each other to fall back on.

* * *

**Thank you for your reviews, much appreciated. Sorry if I scared yah with that last little cliffe, but I wasn't going to hurt Greg too much. More on the way soon, thank you for reading.**

**~ Holly**


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

"If you keep me here one second longer, I'm pretty sure it qualifies as kidnapping. Holding someone against their will is a criminal offence, you know. I feel obligated to report you." He followed his nurse back to her station, getting an eye roll from the woman as she sorted through her patient files on the desk. "If I can't go until my doctor sees me, then can you go and find him? I want to go. I shouldn't have to wait for him to show up, before I can go home."

"There are other patients, Greg. And we're not keeping you here against your will. You're here because you're unwell. The doctor will see you soon." Nurse Sandra took the patient notes towards the drugs cabinet, keeping Greg outside the door, while she prepared the morning drugs round. "Go back to bed. I'll let you know when your doctor is back on shift."

"So he's not even here?"

"Greg..."

"Then just sign me out of here, so I can go home and get out of your hair." He gave her the puppy dog eye expression, but she didn't give in. "Fine." He gave out a reluctant sigh, turning back to his ward down the hall. He dropped back to his bed, wishing he had his phone with him, but the suspect probably still had it. He realised he'd probably have to cancel his credit cards and change his phone number. He had only just memorised the last one, now he'd have to start all over again. "Doctor Doyle." He sprang to his feet, hurrying after his doctor as he spotted him walking down the hall. "Can I please go home now? It's only really my ribs that hurt. I'll take time off work or whatever, I just wonna go home."

"We're just waiting for your latest blood work." The doctor reached for a file over the nurses' station, ushering Greg back to his ward. "I found your old notes, apparently you've been anaemic for quite some time. What did your last doctor prescribe?"

"Iron tablets." Greg took a seat on his bed again, holding his arm out as his doctor decided to check his blood pressure again. "Can I go home?" He began to sound a bit like a child, but his doctor pressed on.

"Your blood pressure is a little low too." He reported, reading through the night time obs that the nurses had taken. "I'm a little worried..."

"Why does all this even matter?" He interrupted the man, really wanting to go home.

"Because I don't think that you were knocked out. Your head is fine, and you don't have any of the usual symptoms. I think you fainted. Your anaemic and your blood pressure is low, over exertion like running could have caused you to faint like that. Have you been feeling dizzy, tired or breathless lately?" The man queried, getting a slight nod from his patient. "Did you finish the course of iron tablets your previous doctor prescribed?"

"I meant to." Greg spoke softly, gritting his teeth together as his doctor looked at him disappointed. "So I just get some more, then I can go home, right?"

"Yes, but you need to take these ones. This is very serious, Greg. Your heart is working overtime, trying to pump more blood around your body to compensate for the lack of oxygen in your blood. Untreated, it can lead to congestive heart failure. You'll also need to take some time off work, and book some follow up appointments with your doctor." He gave him a look that reminded him of one his mother used to give him, especially when she wanted him to do something. "You'll need somebody to drive you home too. I wouldn't recommend driving by yourself for a while either. These dizzy spells could happen at any time."

"Okay." He agreed. "Can you call, Nick?"

"Yeah." The man nodded, pocketing his pen as he left the ward. He spoke to the nurses at the station about his meds, before he picked up the phone to call his patient's husband for him. "Hi, Mr Stokes, this is Doctor Doyle from Desert Palms hospital. Your husband, Greg Sanders is ready to go home now. I'd also like to speak to you about his medication when you get in... yeah, same ward as last night. Okay, thank you." He hung up the phone, taking his next patient's notes off the nurse in front of him.

"Are you discharging the diva yet?" Sandra queried, getting a smile from the doctor. "I'll make sure his regular doctor gets his notes. You want me to let you know when his husband gets in."

"Yeah, I need to go over the meds with him. Try and keep Mr Sanders in his bed until then."

"I'll try." Sandra waved him off, making her way into Greg's ward. "How are those painkillers working out for you?"

"Go down better with a glass of merlot." He joked, tilting his head back against his pillow. "When do you get to go home?"

"Uh... in about three hours." She checked her watch. "You will be going home soon enough, so why don't you try and get some sleep. I know it's not the most comfortable place to sleep, but your husband will be here soon to take you home."

"Fine." He gave her a wave as she walked away, wishing he wasn't in a ward of his own. A lot of people liked to be by themselves in places and situations like this, but he hated it.

He eventually fell asleep while he was waiting to go home, waking up to the familiar sound of his husband's voice. He turned his head towards the hallway, watching a nurse handing Nick a prescription, before she let him into the ward with Greg. "What's that for?" He struggled to sit up, trying to see what it said.

"Painkillers." Nick showed him, grabbing his bag of clothes from the cabinet beside his bed. "You ready to go home?"

"Yeah." The younger man pushed the covers off him, adjusting his hospital gown, before he slid off the bed. He reached into the bag for his jeans, slowly pulling them on beneath his gown. He allowed Nick to aid him by loosening the strings to his hospital gown, but insisted on lifting his own t-shirt on over his head. "Ow," He groaned, lowering the material against his bruised ribs. "Where are the boys?"

"Still with my sister, she doesn't mind takin' them for the day."

"Colt has school."

"I know, he can go in with his cousin. They're in the same school." Nick pointed out to him, easing Greg's jacket onto his shoulders for him. He reached into the bag for his sneakers next, indicating for Greg to sit down, so he could put them on for him. "Gwen's home all day, so she's gonna look after Jackson for us. She said she can take him for however long we need."

"I don't need a babysitter." Greg took his prescription off Nick's hands. "You're just driving me home, that's all. Sara's out of town for the weekend and I don't want to worry my mother."

"Good to know I'm not your only choice." He sarcastically remarked, leading the way to the hospital pharmacy downstairs. He let Greg take a seat in the waiting room, while he took his place in the queue to get the younger man's pain killers for him. "One every four hours." Nick handed him the box, leading him out to his truck outside. "She said to make sure you don't double up, they're the strong stuff. Knock you old cold if you OD."

"I can read directions." Greg climbed into his truck, pulling his seatbelt across his chest. He tilted his head back against the seat, feeling relaxed and safe for the first time since he left home the day before. "Hey, Nick..." He spoke softly, watching the older man driving for a moment, before he spoke, "Thanks... I know that sounds pretty lame after what I said to you last night. But thanks for being there last night and again now. Even though I don't deserve it, you're always there when I need you. Mostly." He added, remembering the reason why they broke up in the first place. "You're mostly always there for me, and that's pretty cool."

Nick gave him a slight smile, turning his head to look at him as he stopped at the traffic lights. "I'm tryin'. I want to be everythin' you need, everythin' you deserve. I just need you to give me another chance."

"Do you still think I'm far too selfish to ever be part of a family?" He repeated the last thing he had said to him last night.

"I didn't say it exactly like that, did I?" Nick anxiously bit his lower lip, directing his truck towards their house. "You know that I didn't really mean it."

"Maybe, but then again, maybe you were right. I'm not holding my hands up or anything like that... I'm just saying, I know what I want and I'm really stubborn about getting it. I never really had to share anything growing up, and since college, I've just been able to get what I want when I want it... even you. And you can't talk, because you haven't really changed either. You still walk out on me."

"You told me to go." He reminded him.

"So you go? If I told you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?"

Nick rolled his eyes at him, slowing down as he reached their street. "I don't get you, Greg. You tell me to listen to you, then you shout at me because I did exactly what you asked. I can't win with you. What exactly do you want from me? If you even want me at all anymore."

"I do." He spoke softly, pulling his seatbelt off as they approached the house. "I just want you there when I really need you. Ever since I married you, I've never felt so alone in my entire life. I used to be able to depend on you to be there when I needed you, but you haven't been the same since you walked out on me. I was kidding myself to think that we could just go back where we left off. And having another baby with you was the dumbest idea ever. You clearly weren't ready to be thrown into all of this, and now I'm paying the price."

"You mean, Jackson?" Nick stopped the car, surprised that Greg would even say that. "I was ready, Greg. We made that decision together."

"Did we really though? Looking back on it, I think it was all me. I don't ever remember you saying anything about wanting another baby. It was all me, just like you said yesterday at the hospital. I thought a baby would make up for the fact that you had just abandoned me and made me think you were dead for three years, but it didn't change anything. You're still the same guy that walks out when things get tough. You're not in it for the long run, and I can't be with somebody like that. Colt and Jacks deserve someone that's always gonna be there for them, no matter what."

"I love you and I love them more than I've ever loved anythin' my whole life. You want me to fight to keep you, because I'll do it. I wanted another baby with you, I still do. I still want you too. I was an idiot for walkin' out on you the first time, and for lettin' you kick me out like that over some stupid argument. But I'm not givin' up. You are what I want, Greg. You're all I've ever wanted. I came back for you. And if I make it to my seventies, I'll still only want you."

"I don't want some big lifetime commitment. I just want... I want you to fight for me every once in a while. You give up so easy. It's like you don't even care about me." Opening the passenger side door beside him, Greg climbed out of the truck, making his way up the driveway towards his front door. It wasn't until he reached the door, that he realised that he had left his keys in his car, which was still parked at the lab. He turned to look down his driveway, relieved that Nick had stayed put for once, rather than driving off. "Hey, do you still have your keys on you?"

"Yeah." His husband grabbed them from his glove compartment. Before he handed them over, he parked his truck in the driveway, remembering the prescribed pain killers as he climbed out.

"I can get it from here, I'm a big boy." Greg hurried after him to the front door, blocking the older man's entrance to their house. "Nick, I don't need a babysitter. I can take it from here."

"Do you want me to fight for you, or not? Don't answer that. Move aside." He gave the younger man a slight push aside from the door, so he could unlock it. He held it open to let him in, closing the door behind them, before he made his way through to the kitchen. "You probably shouldn't be drinkin' coffee right now, you want some water or somethin'?"

"You're not staying." Greg folded his arms across his chest, giving out an annoyed groan as Nick came in and took over. He followed him through to the kitchen, taking the glass of water offered to him, while Nick started to clean the kitchen. The boys breakfast plates from the day before were still on the counter, along with the pile up of dirty dishes from their dinner the night before. "Cleaning up dirty dishes isn't exactly fighting for me. So don't think that this is going to make up for walking out on me."

"I don't know how you can live like this, G." His husband swept the crumbs from the counter into his hands, ditching them in the bin. "And I am fightin' for you. You need takin' care of, so I'm here. I do care about you." He assured him, looking into his eyes. "I've never stopped carin' about you. Here, if you feel that I'm not livin' up to my vows as your husband, then take it." He struggled to slide his wedding ring off his finger, before he lifted Greg's hand from his side to place it in his palm. "It's what you want isn't it? How about I just make things easier for you and resign from my post as your husband. It's what you want, isn't it?"

Instead of answering him, Greg curled his fingers around the ring in his hand, watching Nick putting some order back into his kitchen. Clutching the ring tighter, he turned towards the front room, leaving the older man to it as he dropped to the sofa. He didn't think that something so small and insignificant as a ring would make him feel as though he had just lost his whole world.

"Here, take your pill." Nick appeared a few minutes later, dropping a dark red iron pill into the younger man's hand.

"He told you?" Greg immediately saw what it was, feeling betrayed by his own doctor. "I can't believe he told you. What happened to doctor - patient confidentiality?"

"Would you just take it," He handed him his glass of water from the coffee table, waiting for him to swallow the pill, before he took the glass back. "Yeah, he told me, and I'm glad he did." He took a seat on the coffee table, looking into the younger man's eyes as he confessed, "Greg, the thought of losin' you to somethin' like this... it cuts me up inside, especially because I'm most likely the cause that you stopped takin' them in the first place. I love you. And I really don't want to lose you like that."

"Nick." Greg stopped him from climbing to his feet. He pulled him back down to his level, reaching for his hand from his side. He brushed his fingertips across the indent in his finger, before he slid the wedding ring from his hand back into its original place. "Don't ever take it off again, okay? You've got the in sickness and in health vow covered. You just have to make it to the death do us part clause before you're finally rid of me."

"Okay." His husband smiled at him, tempted to kiss him, but he still had to wait until things were a lot better between them. "You want somethin' to eat? I'll make yah some lunch." He made his way back to the kitchen to get Greg something to eat, making something for himself too, so he could stick around a while longer, just to make sure that the man he loved was really okay.

"You know, you really don't have to stick around. I am capable of looking after myself now." Greg returned his plate from lunch to the kitchen, noticing the overflowing laundry hamper was no more. "You don't have to do this, Nick."

"I don't mind. And you always wait to do it when it's overflowin'. You should do it every other day like I told you, especially the baby's clothes. He gets through more clothes than you." He gave the island in the middle of the kitchen another quick wipe, making it sparkle as the sun poured in through the window. "Are you still hungry? I can getcha somethin' else."

"No, I'm fine." Greg set his plate down, smiling in Nick's direction as he started to reorganise his kitchen cupboards. "Are you really sticking around to look after me or is it the fact that my house keeping is driving you crazy?"

"I'm just... helpin' out." He defended himself, stopping what he was doing for a moment. "I know you don't exactly have time for the full sprits of the place. You've got the boys here practically all the time, then you're workin' durin' the day too. I just thought I'd help out. Besides, this house is pretty big and it's a lot of work for just one person."

"Thanks." He spoke softly, hearing what sounded like a key turning in their front door. "My Mom never said she was..."

Nick quickly grabbed Greg's arm, pulling him behind the island. He crouched down behind it with him, putting his finger to his lips, indicating for him to be quiet. He didn't see a car out in their driveway and none of their neighbours had a spare, so it could only mean one thing.

He peered around the edge of the island as they came inside, not recognising the two men that entered their house. If Greg's wallet, ID and phone had been stolen by them when they beat him up, then they must have got hold of his keys too. As Greg was the only one who could really identify them, they probably came by to make sure that he couldn't testify to that fact.

"Nick?" Greg whispered to him, a perplexed look on his face.

His husband put his finger to his lips again, before he opened the cupboard in front of them. Pots and pans weren't exactly the best defence against two suspects that were most likely armed, but it was all he had to work with. "Stay down." He warned the younger man, carefully lifting out the frying pan from the top of the stack.

"Nicky." His partner grabbed his arm, pulling him back towards him. He shook his head, motioning to the phone on the counter opposite them. He didn't want Nick to get hurt, so he figured their best option was call in for backup and wait it out.

Nick shook his head back to him, getting an eye roll from Greg.

"You don't always have to be the big hero, you know." He hissed at him in a hushed voice. "Now I really wish I had a dog. We could set him loose on them."

"Shh," His husband whispered, reaching into his back pocket for his cell. He placed it in the younger man's hands to make him happy, before he attempted to make a move again.

"Nick... no." Greg pulled him back towards him, tapping the phone in his hands. "It doesn't always have to be you. We can wait." He whispered, scared to lose him like this. He looked into his eyes, feeling his heart racing as they could hear footsteps in the hallway outside.

"I have to." Leaning forwards, Nick pressed a light kiss to the younger man's cheek, before he peered around the side of the counter. One suspect was snooping around their front room, poking through their kids DVD collection, but there was no sign of the other one. They must have split up to see if anyone was home, making it a little easier for Nick to take them out.

Crawling onto his knees as Nick made his way out of the kitchen, Greg made his way towards the utility room, so he could make the call to Captain Brass. He kept an eye on Nick around the door frame, gritting his teeth together as the man was just a few feet away from the bigger suspect now.

Nick quickly launched himself over the sofa, taking the suspect by surprise. He forced the older man into the wall, causing him to drop the tire iron that he had in his hands.

"Bobby!" He shouted, swinging his fist towards his attacker.

Greg spotted the younger suspect bolting down the stairs, anxiously biting his lower lip as the odds weren't exactly in Nick's favour anymore. His husband took a swing from the second tire iron to his back, followed by a heavy right hook to the chin.

Watching his husband go down, Greg instantly knew that he wouldn't survive before Captain Brass got here with the backup, so he'd have to intervene. He didn't want his husband to suffer a beating like he had, so he had to force himself to get up. He grabbed one of their chrome stools from around the counter, figuring it would be enough to at least over power the smaller suspect.

Hurrying through to the front room, he struck the younger one in the back with the legs of the stool, forcing him away from his husband. He struck him again to keep him down, giving Nick some space to get up. Nick grabbed for his discarded frying pan, striking the second one in the knees.

The old man managed to sneak in a punch to Greg, stopping him from retaliating, only making his aggressor even more mad.

"Nick, Nick, Nicky!" Captain Brass quickly pulled him off the man, before he battered him to a bloody pulp. "It's done. C'mon, we got it from here." He let him go, watching him immediately tending to Greg on the floor. He motioned for his deputies to come in, indicating towards the two suspects on the floor, glad that they got here in time. A moment later and Nick could have killed the suspect, getting himself into some serious trouble.

"Are you okay?" Nick lightly touched his hand to the younger man's cheek, seeing a deep red impression just beneath his eye where he was hit. It always amazed Greg how he did that. Nick was the one who was beaten up by both suspects, practically kicked and beaten to the ground, but the first words out of his mouth were still 'Are you okay?'

* * *

**Thank you for your reviews. I'm glad you're enjoying it. I was a bit worried about it because it's a sequel and they're never usually as popular as the originals. Thanks so much for reading.**

**~ Holly**


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

"Potty." The younger man exclaimed the word, tickling his adorable toddler as he dropped into his arms. Jackson was only dressed in his diaper and a t-shirt, while his father was trying to explain and teach the concept of the potty to him. He had been forced to stay at home for a few weeks to relax after his accident at work, and home invasion, but he was beginning to get more than a little bored of the solitary confinement, even with the company of his baby boy. "Are you gonna sit on the potty for me?"

Jackson picked up the potty with one hand, jumping up and down with it, before he dropped it on the floor. "Papa." He bounced into his arms, knocking his head against his father's bruised ribs.

"Ahh," Greg flinched, lifting Jackson to his feet, so he could have a moment to breathe. "How about we try taking your diaper off? Yeah. You wonna try sitting on the potty for me?"

The toddler shook his head from side to side, replacing his pacifier to his mouth. He picked up his stuffed tiger from the floor, studying it contently, while Greg watched him.

"Here you go." Sara stepped into the front room, handing him the second cup of coffee from her hands. "So, how's it going?" She gave him a smile, taking a seat on the sofa behind him.

"Slow." Greg set his coffee on the table, so he could crawl across the floor to fetch the potty his son had rolled across the room. "My Mom was around a lot when I was training, Colt. So I guess he seemed easier. He was still in training when Nick came back, but he got it. This little one just doesn't want to do it for me. Jacks, c'mere." He ushered him back to him, taking his tiger off his hands, so he had his full attention. "Sorry, Sara." He apologised to her, before he loosened the fastenings to Jackson's diaper.

"It's fine, don't mind me." She leant back against the sofa cushions, spotting Colt jumping off the stairs. "Have you finished your homework then?" Sara reached her hand out for the papers he had in his hands, wondering why a child as young as him even had homework to do over the weekend.

"I did the first ones, but I don't want to do anymore. When's Daddy coming?" Colt stepped around his younger brother, grabbing the remote for the television, so he could watch some cartoons.

"Daddy's not coming today. He's taking you out for a couple of hours tomorrow though." Greg reminded him, sitting his toddler on the potty again, before he got distracted by anymore toys. He knew that he hadn't been in a while as he had been keeping an eye on his diapers, but he was determined not to sit on the potty, not even for a couple of seconds. "Can you turn the TV off, please?" He turned to look at his eldest son.

"I want to watch cartoons. He won't even watch it." Colt gave out a scream as Greg grabbed him, giggling and squirming in the man's arms as he wrestled the television remote from his hands. "Papa, I'm bored." He complained, after losing his grip on it. "I want to go outside."

"I don't know if you looked out the window lately, Colt, but it's pouring down with rain." His father clicked the television off, getting the full attention of his toddler back. "Why don't you play a game with your, Aunt Sara? It's only a couple more minutes until dinners ready."

Colt retrieved a book from the book shelf, climbing onto the sofa beside the woman. She was the only one that currently knew that their parents were separated, so she was the only one that was even allowed in the house at the moment, besides his Nana.

"Yes!" Greg suddenly cheered from across the room, pressing multiple kisses to his toddler's forehead as he sat on the potty for his first number two. "He did it! Sara, you might want to leave for the room for this. He has the digestion system of a forty year old Texan."

"There's my cue anyway." She jumped to her feet, hearing the timer beeping from the oven. She hurried into the kitchen to dish it out, hearing Greg proudly cheering again, with a little more excitement this time. "Where's Daddy taking you tomorrow then?" She saw that Colt had followed her in, still looking a little upset.

"The Zoo. Daddy said the monkeys have had babies." Colt collected some cutlery from the drawer, stretching his arm up to the island counter to set them down. "I like the owls the bestest. Did you know they can turn their head all the way?" He turned his head as far to the left as he could, before he spun round in a circle.

"No, I didn't know that actually," Sara gave him a gentle push out of the way, so he didn't get burned by the hot tray she was about to pick up. "But it does sound like something that your father would have said. He loves birds." She chuckled to herself at the memory of Nick saying,

'How come when Grissom starts talkin' about bugs, everyone thinks he's a genius, but when I talk about birds, you just think I watch too much television.'

"My little boy is a genius." Greg declared, carrying his re-dressed toddler into the room. He pressed a kiss to the side of his toddler's little head, giving him another victory twirl in the air. He erupted another delightful little giggle from the toddler, suddenly making him wish that Nick had been here to celebrate his first potty use with him.

It wouldn't seem like that big of a deal to anyone else, but Nick had already missed many firsts of their first child. He didn't want him to miss the firsts of their second child too. They were the most precious little moments of their child's life and he was missing them again.

"Shouldn't you go and get dressed?" Sara set the plates at the island in the middle of the kitchen, giving Colt a hand onto his stool, so he could eat his dinner. "You've gotta be there by six, right?"

"It's not a date. I don't have to be early. Still got an hour yet, anyway." Greg pressed another kiss to his baby boy's head, before he set him in his highchair to eat with his brother.

"Where are you going, Papa?" Colt gave him a curious look, realising now why his Aunt Sara was here. He thought that she was just here for a visit, but if their Papa was leaving, that meant she was here to babysit them and put them to bed. "You said that you didn't have to go to work for a while."

"I'm not going to work. I have a meeting. If I'm not back before bed time, Sara's gonna take you over to Evelyn's and you're gonna have a sleep over with the twins." Greg took a seat beside his eldest, cutting up the fish sticks he had on his plate into bite sizable little chunks. "Daddy will still be here tomorrow to take you both out though. You know he wouldn't miss one of your days out for the world."

"He missed me being born." His seven year old bluntly reminded him.

"And Daddy has been kicking himself ever since." Greg gently brushed his thumb across his son's chin, giving him a smile as he looked into his familiar eyes. The older his son got, the more he started to look more and more like Nick. He was almost a miniature version of the man now. "He wanted to be there, believe me. Daddy loves you and your brother more than anything in the world. He'd be there every minute of every day for you if he could."

Sara gave him a smile, still envious of his life, even though he thought it was spiralling out of control. She still desperately wanted the family life that he had, but she wasn't getting any closer to achieving her dream.

* * *

"Do you... have any sevens?" The eight year old swung her legs back and forth over the edge of her chair, looking at her uncle sat in front of her. He sorted through the cards in his hands, before he dropped two of them on the table. She scooped them up, placing them into her own pile, with a victorious little smile plastered across her lips. "Mommy, do you have any threes? Mommy, it's your go." She shouted out to her mother.

"Okay," Her mother made her way back to the table, retrieving her cards off the edge. "Eh... no, go fish." She watched her daughter taking another card, noticing the look on her younger brother's face. "Somethin' botherin' you today, Nicky?" Gwen asked him.

Nick shook his head, reaching for his glass of water that he had barely touched. "It's your turn, Mommy."

"I have to go and finish up makin' dinner, so I'm out." She dropped her cards back to the table. "Jade, why don't you take uncle Nicky up to your new room? He hasn't seen the stencils that we did yet."

Jade slid off her chair, grabbing Nick's hand as she ran round the table. Her uncle climbed to his feet, following the little girl up the stairs to her new bedroom. She had been sharing with the baby's across the hall since she was born, but now she was in with her two older sisters. "This is my bed." She released his hand, jumping onto the bed that had the bright pink Hello Kitty bed spread. "Mommy did the horsey stencils. And I painted the walls."

"It's nice."

"I got a new doll for my birthday too." She jumped up from her bed, making her way across the room.

Nick knelt down beside her bed, looking at all their toys neatly scored away in stackable toy boxes. Jade searched through the top two, before she retrieved her doll. She hurried back to Nick, placing the doll in his arms as if it was a baby. The simple action almost set him off in tears as he hadn't held a baby this size since he lost two of his own.

"Nick." His sister appeared in the doorway. "Hey, are you stayin' for dinner? There's plenty to go around if you are."

"No," He quickly wiped his eyes, handing his niece back her doll. "Thank you. I'm meetin' someone. Maybe some other time though." He gave his niece a quick hug, before he climbed to his feet. "Is Sam still babysittin' the boys this weekend?"

"Samantha? No, Greg cancelled. He's off from work. I thought you knew about that. He hasn't been in for about a week or so now." Gwen made her way downstairs, handing her brother his car keys. "Somethin' to do with his accident at work, I guess. So, who are you meetin'?" She pried, opening the front door for him.

"Bye, sis." He gave her a smile, not wanting to tell her just yet. He pecked a kiss to her cheek, waving goodbye as he made his way down the driveway towards his car. He drove straight home, changing his shirt, before his guest arrived. He gave his apartment another quick clean, starting to feel a little nervous and excited at the same time.

It had been nearly two weeks since the last time he even saw his husband, and saved him from his home invaders. They left things on good terms, so he figured that a week or so was enough time for him to cool down, before he invited him over so they could have a serious talk about what they were going to do.

But things with Greg had always been unpredictable, so he wasn't sure what to expect, giving him butterflies of nervousness and excitement at the same time.

When he finally heard a light knock at his door, Nick jumped to his feet, spilling beer down his shirt as he hurried for the door. He pulled it open slowly, letting out a small sigh of relief as Greg finally turned up.

"Hi." He took a step back, ushering the man inside, ignoring the fact that he was just over thirty minutes late for their scheduled appointment to talk. The gorgeous smile on his lips completely forgave him of any sins he could have committed. "C'mon in. Can I get you a drink?"

"No... thank you." Greg shook his head, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He stepped out of the way of the door so he could close it, feeling as though this was a bad idea already. He felt as though the tension between them wasn't only painful, but it was awkward and uncomfortable too. He still wasn't sure where they stood, making him more than a little hesitant about tonight. "You're still not unpacked?" He noticed the boxes still stacked against the wall.

"No... I'm never really here. Haven't exactly had any free time to unpack it all." He anxiously scratched his fingers through his hair, waiting for Greg to make the first move. "How's your head?" He motioned towards it.

"Okay." The younger man took another step into the apartment, seeing no signs of any date like material, so this clearly wasn't a date. "I've been taking my pills." He proudly stated, getting a smile from his husband. "Finally got my phone and work ID back too. Wallet's gone though. I had to cancel all my credit cards too." He turned to look at Nick, anxiously biting his lower lip as he studied the man's actions. "Why'd you want me here?" He bluntly got to the point.

"I wanted to talk. We don't do that a lot lately." Nick led him through to the front room, so they could sit down. "I miss bein' able to talk to you. In the heat of the moment, we say things that we don't mean, and can't take them back, because we don't see each other all the time anymore." He dropped to the sofa, looking up at Greg in front of him. "I can't remember exactly what I said to you at the hospital, but I've been hatin' myself for it ever since."

"You said I was too selfish to ever be part of a family." Greg reminded him, taking a seat on the coffee table in front of him. "I think you were channelling my mother though."

"She didn't say it like that... not word for word anyway." He leant back against the cushions behind him, giving out a soft sigh as he looked into Greg's eyes. "How did we get here?"

"Scenic route of the seven year itch." His partner joked, pushing himself to his feet off the table. "Nick, I don't want to do this."

"Do what?"

"This... awkward small talk. Why did you really want me to come here? If you just wanted to apologise for ditching me at the hospital, I'm already over it. It's just something that you do."

"I didn't ditch you." Nick protested, sitting up straight on his sofa. "Why is everythin' always a fight with you, Greg? I'm tryin' to build bridges here and you just keep attackin' me."

"I'm not."

"You are. You do it all the time. Every time I try and get close to you again, you start doin' this. Like you're tryin' to push me away before I hurt you again. But that's not what I'm tryin' to do."

"You did ditch me." Greg dropped to the sofa beside him, folding his arms across his chest.

"I didn't." He shook his head, looking into the younger man's eyes for the first time. "I stayed with you all night. My sister put the boys in her guest bedroom for the night, so I could stay at the hospital with you. I was there until the mornin', when they kicked me out so you could have another scan."

Greg leant back against the sofa cushions, wondering why he left before he woke up. "Do I seriously scare you that much? You can't even wait for me to wake up anymore to talk to me?"

"Can you blame me when all you wonna do is snap my head off? And I didn't think you really wanted to see me after what I said to you."

"It's... what I do." Greg tilted his head back against the back of the sofa, looking up at the ceiling. "I've been scared to lose you since the day you came back. I've been scared of losing you since the first day I had you. Guys like you don't go for guys like me and you certainly don't stick around."

"I'm not like other guys." He slid closer, looking into the deep swirls of caramel in his partner's eyes. "You know I'm not like other guys. You know me better than I know myself. Greg, I've never stopped lovin' you. And I don't blame you for kickin' me out. In your position, I probably would have done the same. But you've gotta let me back in, baby. You need me and I can be there for you now. You just have to let me."

"Where were you seven months ago, Nick?"

"I know, I know. I'm not proud of it. I'll just have to add it to my long list of regrets." He sighed softly, looking down at his hands in his lap. "You opened my eyes the other day. I may not last that much longer, and I don't want to leave you like this. The boys need you strong. If I leave you like this, I'll never forgive myself."

"Watch the ribs." Greg immediately blocked the man's arms from hugging him. "You can't just say that and expect to come back."

"I know."

"You hurt me."

Nick nodded slightly, "I know."

"For a man who wears his heart on his sleeve, you're the most closed off person around me. And it really hurts, Nick."

"I know." He spoke softly, entwining his fingers with Greg's in front of him. He held his hand tightly for a moment, before he felt the younger man give his own hand a gentle squeeze. "I just want you to know that I can be here for you now. I'm takin' counselling sessions."

"Seriously?" Greg looked more than a little surprised. "You who doesn't believe in the power of a shrink?"

"Those crap mandatory ones I had to take after my little coffin incident were rubbish. They didn't care about me or how I was feelin', they just wanted to make sure that I wasn't gonna crack up on the job." The Texan defended himself. "But I've been seein' this shrink that has no connection to the lab and he's already helped me to realise a few things. For starters that I'm not completely nuts for feelin' the way that I feel. And I shouldn't have let you kick me out so easily. Two losses is bad enough, but losin' the strength and support that we get from each other is..."

"Stop, stop, stop," The younger man cut him off. "You've been talking to a shrink about all of this, but you can't talk to me?" He suddenly felt even more hurt. "How long has this been going on?"

"It's not... It's not like I'm cheatin' on you. I am talkin' to you. But I needed someone... a professional someone. And I am talkin' to you right now, and you're attackin' me again." He pointed out to him. "Sometimes you need a little outside help to deal with stuff like this. I didn't know how to be there for you. I've never lost a baby before."

"Not like I have either." Greg pulled his hand away from Nick, folding his arms across his chest instead. "What else do you talk about? Is it all about me?"

"No, not all. You know shrinks, a lot of 'how do you feel about that' and 'what was your relationship like with your folks'. I haven't told him that my own mother won't even talk to me or what she thinks about my life. I've just told him how I hurt you and abandoned, Colt. He thinks I blame myself for too much and act as though I'm carryin' the weight of the world on my shoulders."

"I could have told you that."

Nick gave him a smile, moving a little closer to the younger man so they were now side by side on the sofa. "I miss you, Greg. I miss wakin' up beside you. I miss you reachin' across me to turn off the alarm in the mornin'. I miss seein' you and the boys together. I miss talkin' to you all the time. I was an idiot to leave you once, but doin' it twice..." He lifted the younger man's hand from his side, holding it against his chest. "I know there's no way you can forgive me for avoidin' you then leavin' you... but we need each other, G."

"Maybe I don't want you back though." He spoke softly, turning his head slightly to look into Nick's eyes. "When you're around, I depend on you to be there for me, even though I know what you're like. What if you ditch me when something happens to one of the boys or my folks? You'll leave me completely broken again. I can't take that risk."

"I thought you wanted me back."

"I do." He paused for thought. "I thought I did."

"What's changed?" Nick asked, without letting his emotions get the better of him.

"I don't want to become completely dependent on you again, especially if you're gonna rip it all away at a moment's notice." He pulled his hand away from Nick, sighing heavily as he looked up at the ceiling. "It took ages to build the trust after you came back before. I thought we would never get back to where we were, but we did. Things..." He inhaled a deep breath, keeping his tears in. "Things were going so good. I thought we could actually be happy, then you ripped it all away from me again, breaking my heart again. Then you suddenly swoop in and rescue me, and make me completely helpless to you again."

Nick pursed his lips together, not realising how much he had hurt him until now. "Greg, I really didn't mean... I just, I couldn't deal. I never thought that not talkin' could do so much damage. I was just..."

"I lost a baby too! It's not just about you." Greg angrily snapped at him. "Why is it always about your feelings and what's going on with you? You said at the hospital that it was all about me, but it's not. It's all you. I couldn't tell anyone that we were dating in the beginning, because you didn't want anyone to know, as if you were ashamed of me or something. You left me after Warrick died, because you couldn't deal. You thought that it was best to stay away from me when you found out that you had cancer. And now you feel so bad about losing two babies, that you stop talking to me and get all the sympathy from everyone again. Everything has always been about you!"

"Greg..."

"And the fact that you can't trust me just really puts the icing on it all, Nick." He folded his arms across his chest, bumping his painful ribs again. "You're a moron."

"Are you done?" Nick watched the younger man trying to refold his arms across his chest into a comfortable position, before he spoke, "I know that I did wrong. I hate that I've hurt you so much..."

"I don't want to hear any more excuses, Nick. I'm sick of them."

"What do you want from me then, Greg? Do you want me on my hands and knees grovellin', because I will if that's what you want. I only want to do what's best for you and the boys."

"What hurts the most, Nick, is that you've been talking to a shrink about all the crap that goes on in your head, and it just makes me even more mad at you. You've never been able to talk to me like that. You don't trust me enough, but you trust some shrink that you barely even know. Do you know how much that hurts?" The younger man pushed himself off the sofa, going for the beer he had declined earlier.

"Greg! Greg, there's some things that you can only tell a stranger. Just because I'm talkin' to a shrink, it doesn't mean that I'm cheatin' on you by talkin' to him instead of you." Nick followed him to the fridge, arguing his case. "I didn't exactly grow up in a house where we were allowed to express our emotions like that. I bottle, because I grew up bottlin' everythin' in. It doesn't mean that I don't trust you. It doesn't even mean that I don't love you. I'm supposed to protect you, showin' weakness like emotions won't do that. Even when I try to talk to you, you shut me down. I can't win with you."

"God, you even sound like a shrink." His partner took a gulp of his beer, looking into Nick's eyes beside him. "How long have you been seeing the shrink then?"

"January, so about four months now. It was part of my New Year's resolution."

"Mine was to finally get a dog. Woulda come in handy two weeks ago." He smirked, walking away from Nick to finally explore the apartment. He kicked his sneakers off in the front room, stepping up to the window that looked straight out to the city below them. "You don't have any blinds over your windows." He pointed out to him, taking a seat on the bed to see how soft it was. "And your mattress is hard."

"I didn't think I'd be here that long. And I'm the only one that sleeps in it."

"Right, it was me that decided to get the soft mattress. Where's your alarm clock?" He motioned towards Nick's bedside table. "You were always an early riser anyway, right?"

"Stop, Greg."

"Still having the nightmares? Do you talk to your shrink about your nightmares? I bet he makes you keep a dream journal or something, right?" Greg put his beer to his lips, giving Nick the third degree glare.

"Fine, you wonna continue rippin' chunks out of me, go right ahead. At least you're talkin' to me now." Nick grabbed himself a fresh beer, watching the younger man curiously looking round. His CSI professional brain was scanning every inch of the apartment, taking note of the water spots on the ceiling, the scratched glass pane and the peeling paint specs beside the frame of the bathroom door. "You gonna criticise my house now?"

Greg shook his head. "It's alright, what's the rent like?"

"My lease is up at the end of the month."

"So you called me to try and get your comfy bed back?" Greg giggled to himself, tilting his head back as he poured the rest of his beer down his throat. "This place is alright, I guess. Where are you gonna go once your lease is up? Back to your sister's or some low rent motel that smells of cheap prostitutes."

"Home... I guess." Nick leant back against the wall behind him. "Texas. If there's nothin' left me here..."

"Oh I see." The younger man suddenly understood it all. "So, this is what, your last ditch effort? Your gonna look into my eyes and see if anything is still there, before you run off and leave me again? Or were you gonna give me some kind of ultimatum? Either I take you back, or we never see you again."

"You know, I really don't know why I bother, Greg. You ask me to open up and I try to, but you just bite my head off. Do you even care about us anymore, Greg? Or are just too bitter and twisted to even give us a second thought?"

"I don't have to listen to this." He climbed to his feet, going for the door.

"Yes you do." Nick grabbed hold of his arm, stopping him from leaving. "I really am tryin' here, Greg. If I'm doin' it all wrong, then tell me how to do it properly. I love you. But sometimes I think it would be easier to just..."

"Leave?" Greg finished his sentence for him. "Go then, if... if there's... if there's really nothing keeping you here," His lower lip started to quiver, stopping him from getting his words out. "Then just go."

"That all depends on you, G." His husband pointed out to him, taking a step closer towards him. "I don't want to get in the way of your happiness. I've seen how you are around me lately. I want to make you happy, but if I can't and if we really can't get past this, then I'll go. I don't want to go, but if it's what's best for you and the boys..."

"Can I have another?" Greg interrupted his heart warming speech, holding up his empty beer bottle.

"Yeah." Nick made his way back to the fridge, grabbing another two beers. He turned back towards the bed after he cracked one of them open, noticing Greg had lay his head back against the mattress, breathing in his scent from the covers. "Need somethin'?" He took a seat beside him, watching the younger man's eyes slowly fluttering open. He still had no idea what that did to him.

Instead of saying anything, Greg patted the bed beside him, indicating for Nick to lie beside him. He decided that he didn't want to fight him anymore. Not only was it tiring, but it made his heart ache every times they butted heads.

Nick placed his beer at his side so he wouldn't spill it, before he lay down beside his partner. He looked into Greg's eyes, noticing they had gone a little red, as though he was desperately trying to hold in some tears.

"This mattress is really hard." Greg giggled softly. "And that's not a line."

Nick smiled in response. "Well, it wasn't chosen by your mother. She picked out the best for you. It came with the apartment. My sister gave me the sheets."

"They're nice." Greg smirked, seeing the flower design etched into the material. He turned his head to the side, looking into the eyes of the man he adored. "I really don't want it to be over, Nick. But our marriage is never going to work if you don't trust me. If you can't trust me with your feelings, we might as well call it quits now, otherwise it's just going to be an endless cycle of you hurting me because you can't let me in."

"You're not the completely innocent party here, G. You hurt me too. It hurts when you shut me out too. It hurts when you don't even want to hear what I have to say."

"Well now you know how I feel. Paybacks a bitch."

Nick smiled at him, gently running his fingers through Greg's hair. He wanted to stay mad at him for the way he was acting, but it only made him love him even more. "Don't you ever just wish that we had a normal borin' relationship?"

"No way, we'd be bored stiff. Where's the fiery passion in a normal boring relationship?" Greg asked him.

"At least in a normal relationship you don't get burned." He smirked, delicately brushing a fingertip beneath the fading bruise to his lover's cheek. "We need to talk to each other, Greg. Not just shout and argue about things on our mind. We can get our point across in another way, but we need to talk to each other. I want it to work and I want to be able to tell you everythin'. I thought that by seein' somebody, I could figure out my trust issues and be a better husband to you and a better father to our kids. But I've just made things worse again."

"You can't just trust me by yourself?"

"It doesn't really work like that." Nick shook his head. "It's not that I don't trust you, because I do. It's just... a little harder for me to open up the way you want me to. I was taught to hide my feelin's and put on a brave face, even for my job they teach you to bottle it all to get through what you have to do. You can't see what we see on a daily basis, without bottlin' your feelin's. And it's not so easy to switch off. I want to be able to tell you everythin' and be there for you in the way I'm supposed to. I really do."

"I love you, Nick. But you make everything so complicated." He pushed himself to a sitting position, grabbing the beer from Nick's side. He took a sip of the ice cold beer, licking his lips as he looked at Nick beside him. "Who am I supposed to talk to if you're talking to somebody else the whole time then?"

"Greg, I'm just seein' him to help me out a little with my issues. You can still talk to me. I can tell you some stuff, it's just hard to tell you everythin' that goes on in my head. I want to be able to, but... you're tricky."

"I'm tricky?"

"Yeah, I don't always know how you're goin' to take certain things. I don't always know how to read you. I've never met anyone like you before. You're nothin' like me and I don't find it very easy to judge your character or your mood. You've got this amazin' wild personality that I love, but you're... you're really tricky. For lack of a better word."

"At least you didn't call me weird or a freak." Greg collapsed back against the covers, staring up at the ceiling as he tried to make sense of it all. On the one hand, he wanted Nick back more than anything, but on the other, he didn't want him to hurt him anymore. "Can I ask you a question? And you have to answer it completely truthfully and honestly. If I even see a moment of hesitation, I'm gone."

"Ask away." The Texan rested against his elbow beside the younger man's head, watching him softly biting his lower lip as he tried to get up the nerve to ask him. "C'mon Greg, while we're young."

Greg smiled slightly in response, inhaling a deep breath, before he opened his mouth. "When you were dating... what's-her-name, why did you sleep with me? I've always wondered. Am I just the rebound, or did you really want me, the way I wanted you?"

"That's your question? You wonna drag up stuff from years back?"

"Nick." He groaned. "If you're not going to take this seriously."

"Alright," Nick stopped him from getting up, trying to think back. "For the record, I wasn't really datin'... what's-her-name. We were only on our... third or fourth date when I kissed you. I hadn't seen her in over a week since I got out the hospital after my little vacation in a coffin six feet under. You were there for me when I needed somebody."

"So that's it? I was there."

"No, that's not just it." He looked into Greg's eyes, gently brushing his thumb across his partner's chin. "I've always had feelin's for you, Greg. Ever since I can remember. I'm not just sayin' this because I want you back. I didn't always know that what I felt for you was love. I just knew that I felt stronger feelin's for you than I did, Sara, Catherine or Warrick. It sounds a little cliché, but when I kissed you, I was tryin' to make sense of what I felt. I had a lot of thinkin' time when I was down under. Mostly about you."

"I think I'd of preferred you to lie." He gave the man a slight smile, entwining his fingers with Nick's at his side.

"Why?"

"I don't want to know that you think about me when you're at deaths door. That's a bad association."

"It's romantic. You were my last thought." The older man moved a little closer, lifting his leg over Greg's, so he could manoeuvre himself on top of him. "You're always my first and last thought of the day." He leant over him, gently merging their lips together for the first time in a long time.

The younger man responded after a few seconds, flinching as Nick's hand slid across his side. "Ow, watch the ribs."

"Sorry." He gritted his teeth together, playfully grinding their hips together as he leant in for another kiss.

"Wait, wait..." Greg pushed him away slightly, licking his lips as they separated. "You don't get off on being a completely flawed human being, just because you think it's romantic that you think about me when you're on the brink of death."

"You think I'm a completely flawed human bein'?"

"Maybe not a completely flawed one, but you come pretty close to the top three in the emotions department. You'll spill them all out at a crime scene when you're not supposed to and wind up getting yourself in trouble when you take it too far with the whole battering the suspect thing, but you're almost completely closed off around your own husband."

"I can be completely 'clothes off' if you like." He playfully wiggled his eyebrows at him.

"Are you drunk?" Giggling softly, Greg put his arms around his husband, pulling him closer to look into his eyes. "I haven't seen you in a playful mood in years."

"Losin' you opened my eyes a little. And then seein' you get hurt opened them a little more. I came back to you after I thought I was gonna die, but I never really let go of that fact. I've been livin' with you like I'm gonna die, rather than like I'm gonna live." The man gently circled his fingertips over his partner's heart, feeling it softly beating through his chest. "I haven't been everythin' you needed. I can be everythin' you need now. Or I can try, anyway. You want me to buy you that dog?"

"Bribery now?" Greg gave him a slight smile, moving the beer from his side, before it got knocked over. "You know, if I had you around, I wouldn't need a dog. I didn't mean that how it sounded." He leant up on his elbows to take another sip of his beer, whispering, "What I mean is I want you back at home more than I want a dog."

"I can do that." He sealed another kiss to the younger man's lips, feeling his partner shaking beneath him. He didn't know if it was because he was nervous or cold, but it immediately made him stop. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No." Greg readjusted himself, running his fingers through his partner's hair. "I just... I thought tonight you were going to ask me for a divorce or something. I guess that's why I came over ready for a fight. You sounded really serious on the phone. I came over here thinking the worst. I'm just kinda scared that I'm dreaming all this because you did really do it."

"You're not dreamin'." Nick assured him, gently sliding his fingers beneath the younger man's t-shirt. "I'm real. You're real. This whole thing is real." He pried the beer bottle from his partner's hand, crawling across the bed to set them on the bedside table. "Do you need to get back?" He gently nipped at the younger man's lips, smiling as he barely managed to shake his head from the intimate touch. "Who's babysittin' the boys?"

"They're sleeping over at Evelyn's. I'm watching the twins tomorrow."

"Close your eyes." The older man rasped.

"Why?"

"Do you really need a detailed explanation of what I want to do to you? Or are you just gonna close your eyes so I can..."

"Stop, stop, stop." Greg pushed himself to a sitting position, launching the older man onto the bed beside him, so he had some room to breathe. "Nick, I don't think that we should do this. It feels... weird."

"Why weird? We're married, Greg. That never changed. We just separated... temporarily."

"I know that, but it still feels... weird." He didn't know how else to describe it. He dropped back to the bed with a sigh, hoping it was just the fact that they were on an uncomfortable bed that was making the situation feel uncomfortable. "We were just shouting at each other, now you're trying to get into my pants. Maybe seven months without sex has made me crazy. There must be something really wrong with me."

"There's nothin' wrong with you." Nick leant over him, sealing a kiss to his lips. "You are perfect, just the way you are." He gave him a smile, before he merged their lips together again. His husband immediately responded, breathing softly in between kisses. "You know, when I say perfect..." He tried to retract his statement.

"Shut up." Greg playfully jabbed him in the side, getting a wide smile in return. "I've missed seeing you smile." He reached his arms out for him, hugging him tightly against his chest. "I've missed everything that you do. And you're right, we do need to talk more, or you do anyway and I need to learn how to listen." He admitted, getting a surprised look from his partner. "Yeah, I have noticed that I suck at that."

"You used to be a good listener." Nick leant on his elbow beside his head. "I think I did that to you. You never used to be so protective of your feelin's either. I thought you came through those three years that you were alone a little more mature, but you're a lot more guarded too. I did that to you. I left you when you needed me the most. And I've done it again, which has probably only made you worse."

"So we're both completely screwed up?"

"For the rest of our lives." The Texan widely grinned, sealing another kiss to Greg's lips. "I love you, Greg." Reaching for the younger man's hand at his side, he pressed a kiss the ring on his finger, relieved to see that he was still wearing it.

"I love you way more." The younger man rasped, sweeping the shirt off his husband's shoulders. He quickly unbuckled his jeans, leaving their clothes behind as they crawled back to the pillows, completely ignoring his own advice about making all of their problems go away with sex. "Nick," He spoke softly between kisses. "Don't ever leave me again, okay? I can't take it anymore."

"I won't. I promise you this time."

"You know that this isn't going to be some quick fix thing." He warned Nick, holding his warm body tightly against his own. "I wish that it could be, but we have to work these things out, otherwise we're never going to get past it."

"I know. True love only happens once. You've gotta grab it by both hands and never let it slip away." He gripped the younger man tightly in both hands, looking deeper into his eyes. "I've already let you slip away twice. I'll never make that mistake again. I know I've said that before, but I really mean it this time."

"I believe you." Greg sealed their lips together, closing his eyes as they rekindled their love. He really didn't expect tonight to go like this, but he wasn't going to fight it now. This was more than he could have ever hoped for.

* * *

**Thank you for your reviews. Have a great weekend.**

**~ Holly**


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"Trust me, that's nothing. A few weeks after Jackson was born, Colt was constantly fighting for our attention. He clung to Nick the day he was supposed to leave for a conference. Every time Nick set him down, he'd start crying until he was blue in the face. Bottle feedings were the worst. Colt had given up his bottles quite a long time before Jacks was born, but he always went into this jealous rage whenever he saw me feeding, Jackson. He'd throw himself about in a thirty minute tantrum, which was actually okay, because Colt had his nap the same time as Jackson in the afternoon and his tantrum always wore him out." Greg shared a little parenting insight with his fellow baby shower goers, wishing he hadn't come to this thing alone.

He wasn't the only man there, but he was the only one that was talking about babies.

"Colby was the same, except he was six when his baby sister was born." Julia piped into the conversation. "I'd try and get her a bottle and Colby would be right there, trying to get my attention. I rocked her to try and get her to sleep and he'd suddenly want a cuddle."

"Try having your mother in law live with you when you've got a newborn, not an easy task. I don't know which one cried more. The colicky baby or the menopausal mother in law." Evelyn drunkenly giggled, pouring out more wine for everyone on the sofa. She spilled half of it down her arm, prompting Julia to grab the bottle from her, before the red wine ended up on the cream white carpets beneath them.

"Here sweetie, maybe you should sit down." Julia assisted her.

"Fine. Are you not drinking, Greg?" Evelyn saw that his glass of wine was still full.

Greg shook his head, not really wanting another drop after last night. He had barely made it through the day babysitting the twins, now he was just trying to hold out until he finally got to see his husband for the first time after their night together. They had spent the whole night together last night, but he hadn't seen him all day to talk about where they stood, what was going to happen next or even if they at least made it to the finish before he passed out from all the beers he drank.

"Did you make a guess yet?" A woman dropped onto the sofa beside Greg, motioning towards the mother to be that they were here for. They were placing bets on what the baby's sex would be, as it was due to be born in a few days time. She was supposed to have her baby shower in two weeks time, but her doctor moved up the date of her c-section, so they all had to gather earlier to shower her with presents before her baby arrived.

Only Greg hadn't even bought her one, so he signed Evelyn's card that she brought with her, hoping that was enough to still get free babysitting from the woman.

"I'm guessing a boy." Evelyn squeezed in the other side of Greg, taking his full glass of wine off him to finish it herself. "She's already had three boys. It's gotta be another one. You're not sick are you?" She whispered the last part, giving Greg a concerned look. "Did the girls tire you out today? Were they bad and you just didn't tell me, because you're afraid it'll hurt my feelings?"

"No, they were great." He assured her, checking the time on his watch. Colt and Jacks had been out with Nick at the zoo all day. They were probably back by now, but Nick was going to feed them dinner at his apartment, before he brought them back home. "It's actually quite nice to have a quiet morning for a change."

"You don't have any girls, do you?" Julia remembered, grabbing herself a napkin as the waiter came round with the tray of food again. "Are you planning on having anymore?"

Evelyn made the cut throat signal to her friend, but Greg had already heard the question. He gave the woman a shrug, once again wondering if the pregnancies he lost would have been more boys or finally a girl.

"Who's that lady?" Julia quickly tried to change the subject, motioning towards a young woman that was sat twirling her hair around her fingers. "I've seen her before, but I don't know where."

"Oh, she's Greg's new neighbour. Her husband's a security guard or something. Works nights, a lot like your Nick does." Evelyn set her empty wine glass down, pulling Greg to his feet as she couldn't stand the misery on his face anymore. "C'mon, getcha coat. We're going home." She was a little tipsy, but she wasn't taking 'no' for an answer.

"She hasn't opened the gifts yet." Greg tried to protest.

"You didn't get her one, so I don't think it matters if you're polite or not. C'mon, we'll sneak out while she's opening the diaper genies." Evelyn drunkenly snickered, leading the younger man towards the door. "Bye, Julia." She grabbed her own jacket, quickly slipping out the door with Greg before the host noticed them. "So, what's up with you and Nick? C'mon, I'm not blind. He doesn't come home after his shifts. He stops by at the weekends to take the boys out without you. The twins even asked me where he was today."

"Was it that boring for them?" Greg stuffed his hands into his jeans pockets, walking slowly as his neighbour slowly shuffled along the path in her heels. He didn't know why she always wore them, especially when she was drinking, as she couldn't even walk a few steps in them without wobbling. "Your husband hasn't exactly been around a lot lately either." He turned it around on her, getting a smile from her.

"I bet I had sex more... more... reg... more recently with my husband than you did yours." She garbled her drunken words.

"I doubt that." He reached for her arm, stopping her from wandering too close to the road. "I bet I've screwed up my relationship with my husband, more than you've seen your husband this year."

"I wouldn't take that bet." Evelyn pulled the hair clips from her hair, wincing as she forgot to unclasp them first, pulling some hair from her scalp. "Ow, my god. That hurts." She stopped on the pavement to hold her head for a moment, remembering what they were talking about a moment later. "You can't have screwed up your relationship with your husband that much. You're practically glowing, Greg. It might just be the fact that you've barely slept or the stench of day old alcohol on you... or is that me?" She held her hand over her mouth, wishing she hadn't eaten those weird looking prawn appetizers when she first got there. "You did sleep with Nick last night, didn't you?"

"Sorta." He took her hand, trying to get her walking again. They lived at the other end of the block, meaning they still had a long way to walk in the dark, before they were finally home. "It's complicated. As usual. Nick will never be simple. Part of what I love about him. But sometimes I kinda wish that he was. He worries about everything." He stopped while Evelyn adjusted her shoe on her foot, holding her arm as she almost toppled over.

"I thought that you liked him worrying about you all the time?"

"Yeah, but this is nonstop worrying. In some ways, he's worse than my mother. He never stops trying to make things perfect. He has this ideal reality of where everything in his life is perfect, but he hasn't realised that I'm not perfect yet. So he can't exactly achieve his dream with me."

"I think you are." Evelyn gave out a snicker, fiddling with the zipper on her jacket as she felt a breeze. "Oh, I feel sick again. How much did I drink?"

"When we got there, you helped yourself to three glasses of champagne, then you had loads of those little nibble things, before you found the red wine that's supposedly your favourite. I think you only had two glasses of that one, before you started sharing round the merlot." Greg reminded her, helping her to zip up her jacket as he couldn't bear to watch her struggling anymore. "Honestly, you were a little tipsy after the first glass of champagne."

"I'm a light weight." She linked her arm with his, starting to walk again. "Always have been. I had one shot at a friend of mines birthday party when I was twenty or something, and I was dancing on the table before they even poured out the second round. Funny enough, that was the night I met my husband." Evelyn giggled softly, glancing around the empty streets. "Where is everyone?"

"It's night." Greg pointed up to the sky, wondering if Nick was back yet. He had his own key to their house, so he'd let himself in if he was there.

"My father met my Mom when he was drunk. He head butted her when they were dancing, and it was love from there."

"Love at first head butt?" The younger man giggled, trying to remember the first time he saw, Nick. "I think the first time I met, Nick, he had just finished making out with a lab tech. I walked in on them in the locker room at the lab. My friend, Catherine from work was showing me round on my first day, and just casually introduced Nick as 'the Ladies Man' of the lab. I didn't know his real name until three or four days later." He reached for Evelyn's hand again, stopping her from stepping out into the middle of the street. "If you told me back then that I would be married to him and have two of his kids, I wouldn't have believed it for a second. I still don't really believe it now."

"Are you planning on having anymore any time soon?"

"You're kidding, right? We split up because I lost two baby's. Having another would be the biggest mistake ever, especially since we're not really together anymore." Crossing the street as they approached Evelyn's house, Greg released her hand a moment, so he could open the gate at the foot of her driveway. He led her towards the door, keeping her upright as she searched for her keys.

"I know they're here." Evelyn brushed her blonde hair back behind her ears, holding her hand bag a little higher. She dropped it to her side again, combing her fingers back through her hair. "Did I leave them there?"

"Let me see." He gave her a hand, pulling her bag closer to take a look. He pulled her closer with it, revealing her keys to her within a few seconds. She gave him a smile, suddenly leaning forwards to press a kiss to his lips, as though it was their first date. "Evelyn, Evelyn..." He quickly pushed her back, keeping hold of her hands in case she fell over in her drunken haze. "It's not that I don't like you... it's that... I don't know if you noticed, but I'm kinda gay. And I'm trying to work things out with Nick."

"I know. My kids are inside too, so I can't exactly invite you up." She teased him, opening the front door with the keys she now had in her hand.

"Who is looking after the kids?" Greg queried, acting as though nothing had happened.

"Oh... eh... one of Ceira's friends."

"Hey, how is Ceira doing? She's started her first year at college, right?"

"My eldest," Evelyn shook her head, making herself dizzy. "No go. As in, she didn't go. Dropped out after the first month. A boy and his stupid idea of touring the world." She stepped through her open front door, fiddling with the light switches against the wall. "Hold onto your baby's while you still can, Greg, they'll be grown up and hating you before you know it."

"Are you okay?" He caught her as she stumbled over the carpet in her hallway.

"Perfect." Evelyn pulled her jacket off, reaching it out for the coat hanger in the cupboard in the dark. She missed it completely, dropping her jacket to the floor. "Do you want a coffee? I'm pretty sure I have something drinkable in my kitchen." She left it where it dropped, making her way through to the kitchen.

"No, thank you. I'm good." He motioned over his shoulder. "I have to get back."

"Okay... bye, Greg." She gave him a wave, stumbling off into the living room to remove her heels. Her neighbour closed the door as he left, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, before he made his way across the street to his own house.

Locking the door behind him, Greg hung his jacket up, noticing Nick's behind the door. "Nick?" He stepped further into the house, catching the man coming off of the stairs. "Hey, did you have a good time at the zoo?"

"Great." Nick avoided any eye contact with him, making his way straight to the door to grab his jacket. "I put them to bed already. I'll be round next weekend."

"Hey, hey, wait a second." Greg positioned himself between his husband and the door, trying to stop him from leaving so soon. "Nicky, shouldn't we talk about what happened last night? It changes things right?"

"Apparently not."

"What?" He gave him a confused look.

"I saw you, Greg. I saw you kiss, Evelyn." Nick snapped at him, trying to move him out the way of the door. "Don't even try to deny it. I saw the whole thing from upstairs."

"I..." Keeping his position at the front door, Greg tried to explain, "She was drunk. I was just walking her home. Nicky, you can't honestly believe that I would want to date someone like, Evelyn. There's nothing wrong with her, she just reminds me too much of my mother. And I'm gay and in love with you."

"Can you move?"

"Listen to me for just a second!" He begged him. "Please, Nick."

"Move."

"I was the kissee. I did not kiss her." Greg protested, feeling his heart pounding at the thought of losing Nick again over something so silly. "If you saw, then you would have seen how shocked I was. I pushed her away."

"Don't play the innocent card. Can you just let me out? Don't make me move you."

"Go ahead. Because I'm not moving."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, you want me to move, move me." The younger man folded his arms across his chest, standing guard at the front door to stop the man he loved from walking out on him again. "You can't leave me like this. We only just got back to where we were last night. You can't just throw it all away, again, over some stupid drunk woman's kiss that didn't even mean anything. There wasn't even any tongues. Strictly lips, right before I pushed her away."

"You're beginnin' to make me feel claustrophobic, can you let me out?"

"No." Greg shook his head, pushing the older man away from him as he got closer. "Nick... please."

The older man refused to listen, grabbing hold of Greg's arms to pull him away from the door. Greg kept himself grounded at the door, readying himself for a fight, when Nick suddenly leant forwards to kiss him. He pushed him back against the door, sliding his tongue into the younger man's mouth as he reached for the door handle against Greg's hip. He pulled Greg out of the way a second later, attempting to pull the door open to leave the uncomfortable situation as he was accustomed to doing in the past.

"No." Greg threw his weight back against it, slamming it closed again. "Are you serious? You're going to trick me with a kiss, before you run off again?" He clenched his fists at his sides, releasing all his energy on his husband's shoulders, sending him crashing back to the hard wood floor beneath him. "Ooh... oh my god, I'm sorry." He quickly knelt down beside him. "Nicky, talk to me. Are you okay?"

"Ow," Nick remained flat on the floor. "What'd you do that for?"

"I didn't mean to." He supported Nick's shoulders as the man leant up on his elbows. "Are you okay? It was just meant to be a light tap."

"You freakin' shoved me."

"Okay, there's no need to get hysterical."

"Hysterical? You pushed me over." Leaning back against his husband's arms, Nick gave out a sudden chuckle, shaking his head as he looked up at Greg above him. "I think you threw out my back. And bruised my shoulders... as well as my ego. I just got decked by a light weight."

"I'm not a light weight. Did you hit your head?" He gently brushed his fingers through Nick's hair, feeling for any unusual bumps on the back of his head where he fell.

"No, I think my elbows took most of the fall." He raised his elbow to eye level, seeing a reddish graze beginning to appear. "I still can't believe you did that."

"I guess you can't leave now."

"Don't make me laugh." Nick tried to suppress his laughter, attempting to lift himself off the floor. "Ahh... Greg." He dropped his head back to the younger man's lap, lifting his hips off the floor, which only caused him more pain in his lower back. "Yep, you threw out my back. Are you happy now?"

"No, I just wanted you to stay. You even said that we're going to start listening to each other more, but you won't listen to me. You won't even believe me about the Evelyn thing. I've kissed loads of women like that, it doesn't mean anything."

"Loads?" Nick frowned in his direction. "How many are we talkin' here, G?"

"Is now really the time for that?" Reaching for his jacket off the pegs above him, Greg folded it up, carefully placing it beneath his husband's head for a pillow, so he could climb to his feet. "Remember the last time I threw out your back? It wasn't really my fault though. You were the one who wanted to lift me in the shower for your little fantasy scenario. You ended up getting no sex and spending the night on the bathroom floor."

"With you weepin' beside me the whole night." His partner smirked, sliding his hand to the small of his back. "You know, if you wanted me to stay that badly. There are other ways."

"You grabbed my arm." He defended himself, making his way back from the kitchen with an ice pack in his hand. "You should know better than to box me in and grab my arm. Where do you want it?" Greg wrapped the ice pack in the towel, gently placing it against Nick's elbow as he raised it off the floor.

"I'm sorry. It hurts though. Not just my back, but seein' you with other people. You and Evelyn have been close since we got here. Everyone used to call me a ladies man, but you get on with more women than me. And you have a really close relationship with them. Not just Evelyn, but Catherine, Wendy, Mandy... Sara. You had a crush on her before me. Before you and I got together, I always thought that maybe you and Sara would..."

"Please, that would be like you sleeping with your sister, Gwen. Sara's like the big sister I never had. I admit I did have a crush on her when I first met her, but that quickly changed when I got to know her more. Besides, I am in love with you, even though you are an idiot."

"Hey." Nick pouted at him. "A little sympathy for the man that just got tackled by a light weight here. Help me up."

"Are you sure? Shouldn't I call for an ambulance or something?"

"No, I don't need to go to hospital. Help me up. I don't wonna be stuck behind the door all night."

"Okay, easy babe." Greg slid his arm beneath Nick's back, putting the man's arm around his shoulder. He waited until Nick was ready, before he eased the man to his feet, taking him through to the front room to lie down on the couch. He positioned one of the scatter cushions behind his head, before he knelt down beside the sofa to remove Nick's boots and socks. "I love you, Nick. I really do, but you've got to learn to trust me a little. I'm married to you, and I only want you, doofus."

"Is the name callin' really necessary?"

"Yes, because you were willing to throw it all away over a stupid kiss. And you're dumb enough to believe that I would actually cheat on you with Evelyn. If I was going to cheat on you, I'd do it with her husband, not her." He admitted to him, receiving a scowl from his husband. "What?"

"You're not helpin' your case, G." He struggled to sit up, adjusting the cushions behind his back. "Is it a crime that I love you so damn much?"

"No." He took a seat on the edge of the sofa against Nick's leg. "It's like... okay, bear with me for a second. But it's like you put me on a pedestal. You think I'm this perfect person, and you keep me high up on this pedestal. And when I screw up, it's such a big shock to you, because you don't think that I can do something so terrible. But I'm not this perfect person that you think I am. I'm just... I'm Greg. And I screw up all the time."

"Greg's a pretty cool person to be around. And I don't put you on a pedestal."

"Yes you do. My Mom has been saying it to me for years, but it's just started to sink in lately. You think I'm this perfect amazing person. Your dream guy, but I'm not. And that's why we fight so much, because I don't live up to your standards of perfect. You need to learn to accept me the way I am." He explained to him, changing to more hysterical tone. "And you're crazy when you walk out on me like that. I only just got you back. I've been stuck at a baby shower for the past three hours, waiting to come back and see you. And what do you do? You try and run out on me, again! Our baby showers were way more fun than this one. I only knew two people there, and I had to babysit Evelyn all the back, only to have you try and walk out on me . . . again."

"Well you took care of that." Nick held his back as he adjusted himself on the sofa. "I don't put you on a pedestal. I don't." He protested, getting a look from his partner. "Greg, I'm not an idiot. I know that you're not perfect. You're human. You have tons of flaws."

"Like what?" Greg queried, receiving a glare from the man. "Just give me a for instance. Is it the way I sleep, chew, laugh?"

"I'm not gonna say." Nick shook his head, biting his lower lip. "I was supposed to work tonight."

"I'll call in sick for you. You can't work with a bad back." Greg raised Nick's elbow, peeling back the ice pack to take a look. "Do I still tut in my sleep?" He asked, glancing up at Nick. "My Mom said I used to do it when I was little. Do I still do that? Does it annoy you?"

"I've never heard you tut."

"It was before I had my braces put in." The younger man remembered, leaning back against the sofa across his husband's legs. "Maybe it was something to do with my teeth."

"I've never seen any pictures of you before you had braces." Nick suddenly realised, trying to picture what he looked like. "How young were you when you first had them put in?"

Greg shrugged slightly. "Thirteen or fourteen. Five years of misery, on top of the misery of Highschool. I had the full head gear too, making it even more impossible to make any friends."

"I would have been your friend."

"You would have been four years older than me, and too busy hanging out with your jock friends to notice me. Although, you probably would have noticed me. The metal was kinda hard to avoid." He sat up straight, adjusting the pillow behind Nick's head. "Do you think Jacks is gonna need braces? I know he doesn't have that many teeth in, but his bottom ones are a little wonky, like mine used to be."

"We'll have to wait and see."

His husband climbed to his feet, kicking his sneakers off beside the sofa. "Can you make it upstairs?" He slid his arms beneath Nick's, helping him to stand. He immediately kissed him as soon as he was on his feet, reminding Nick of just how he felt about him. He brushed his fingers back through the older man's hair, looking into the deep chocolate swirls in his eyes. "I love you."

"You want me to stay then?"

"You know I do." Greg supported his man's back, walking him towards the stairs. He took the stairs one at a time with him, taking him towards their bedroom that they hadn't both been in together for months. "Lay down." He eased him onto the bed, removing his jacket for him, before he lay him down against the pillows. "You want your jeans off?" Without waiting for an answer, Greg unbuckled Nick's belt, loosening his jeans from around his hips. "Weird being back?"

"Like I never left." He unbuttoned his shirt buttons, letting Greg help him to get it off, leaving him in just his white vest and boxers. "Ahh... easy, baby." He dropped his head back to the pillow, feeling his breath hitching in his throat as the younger man straddled his bare thighs. "Never like it is in the movies, is it? Instead of the romantic reunion in the rain, we get the weird awkward moments like this."

"What movies have you been watching?" Greg giggled, resting his head against Nick's shoulder as he lay himself down against him. "You were thinking about Ross and Rachel's first kiss from Friends, right? When he watches her through the glass door of Central Perk as she's closing up. Then she opens the door and steps out into the rain with him."

"I haven't even seen their first kiss episode." Nick wrapped his arm around him, pressing his lips to his younger lovers hairline. "I remember our first kiss."

"You would. You missed a huge part of their story missing that episode." He circled his fingertip over Nick's heart, making the man shiver slightly from the tingles running down his spine. "How was the zoo today? Did you have fun?" He tilted his head back, looking at Nick laying beneath him.

"Yeah, Colt had hold of the camera the whole time, so he'll probably show you them all tomorrow. He got a few thumb shots at first, but he got the hang of focusin' it after a while. Jacks managed to say 'otter'. He couldn't say 'owl' though. He walked around with Colt for a little while, but then he wanted to go back in the stroller. He fell asleep after his lunch and he missed the bird show, but Colt got to hold a little snowy owl. I got loads of pictures of that. You could blow some up and send em to your Mom."

"Or your Mom." Greg suggested, getting the familiar look. "She knows she has two grandsons from you, but she doesn't have any pictures of them since Colt was younger than Jacks is now. Maybe sending her pictures of her grandchildren is the first step to breaking that cold heart of hers."

"She does not have a cold heart." Nick protested. "She's just... old fashioned."

"So, that's why she disowned you for loving me," His husband sarcastically remarked. "And she refuses to call Colt or Jacks her grandchildren, because you had them with me. Face it, when I die, you'll all be welcome at the ranch. Until that day, you're all stuck on the outside with me."

"Not such a bad place to be stuck." The Texan smirked at his lame attempt to cheer his partner up. "Tryin' to get my Mama back into my life hasn't crossed my mind in years. You and our boys is all I want. Bein' stuck on the outside away from the three of you has shown me that I only want to do what's best for all of you. No one and nothin' matters outside this house. Includin' drunk kisses from the neighbour. I'm sorry I overreacted, but you didn't have to cripple me."

"Self defence." He defended himself, struggling to sit up beside his partner. "You'll be fine in a day or two. In the meantime, you need to get some rest. I'm gonna go lock up." He climbed off the bed, grabbing the empty coffee mug and cereal bowl off his bedside table to take downstairs with him. "Hey Nicky, welcome home, baby."

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**Thank you for reading.**

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**~ Holly**


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